Welcome To The Crazy House
by CrazyJaney
Summary: What happens when an Aoshi obbessed duck kidnaps the cast of Rurouni Kenshin? What will happen if that duck, which is really a girl is the definition of crazy? Find out by reading! R&R! PLZ!
1. Chappie 1! the cast arrives

A/N: hiya!!! it's been sooooo long!! ok, this is just a silly story that i came up with when I had like way 2 much time on my hands. hope ya like, and PLZ REVIEW!!!!! oh, yes, i would like to dedicate this to: Shorty(Momiji), Kitty(Kyo, not that we ever call u that), and Haru(just haru. or of course moo moo)i must tell u in this ficcie, Ducky-dono is me, it is oneof my many names which i tell later in this ficcie, soplzenjoy and remember! REVIEWS make Ducky-dono happy 

**Welcome To The Crazy House**

Chappie 1

"Where are we?"

"Welcome, Rurouni Kenshin cast, to Ducky-dono's bedroom!! Ignore the mess," a voice said.

"Oro? Who are you?" Kenshin asked looking around.

"I answered that already. You're in my bedroom," Ducky-dono said exasperated.

"How and why are we here?" Kaoru demanded.

"Because I brought you here! I kinda just wanted Aoshi-Sama to come, but looks like I messed the spell up," she pondered looking at the entire cast.

"What do you want with my Aoshi-Sama?!" Misao piped up.

"I want him. Nothing else, and hey! I gave you Soujiro, you two make a fitting couple!"

"Oh! Sou-chan, I'm so sorry!" she apologized looking at the down cast look on his face.

"Daijoubu, Misao-chan," he told her.

"Great! Now I can have Aoshi-Sama!! Anyway, now that you all are here, maybe we can play a game or something. Just let me make sure that I know how to send you back," Ducky-dono said, searching for her spell book.

"Just what the hell are you?" Sano asked.

"A mage. Only behind my parent's backs of course. If they knew, boy would they take my computer away!" she answered, running her hands down the bindings of many manga books.

"Wait, they all say Rurouni Kenshin on them," Yahiko pointed out.

"Hai, they do. You guys are a very popular manga series. Oh my god!!!!!!!! You should meet Shorty-chan!!!! She'd love you guys!!! And Haru! And Kitty-chan!!!! Kami would they love this!!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono shouted, dropping the spell book and running for the phone.

"Oh Shorty!!!!!!!!!! You gots to get over here!!!! I have the Kenshin cast in my bedroom!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled excitedly into the phone.

"Oh, ya know, my parents are away so I figured this would work out great!! Besides I locked the door, just in case," she assured the person on the other line, "Yosshi!! Get over here! I got to call Haru and Kitty!!!" she hung up and called the other two.

In about a half-hour all three girls had arrived and were eyeing the men up and down. Haru and Kitty were in silent agreement of who they would be going after, while Shorty was admiring her man from a distance, not daring to be so bold.

"Oh, Sano," Haru drawled.

"Nani?" he didn't like the way she were staring at him. Haru looked at him once more and then started walking towards him.

"Hey, Haru! Be careful, there's a fox in the room too!" Ducky-dono warned.

"Like I care about her," Haru said.

"Baka deshi, when the hell are we gonna get out of here?"

"Hiko-Sama, don't worry, we'll find a way to send you guys back. Why don't you come talk to me in the mean time?" Shorty answered.

"Why not? Do you have any sake?" he asked. She regretfully shook her head no.

"Sorry, this isn't Japan people, we have beer and wine and such. Oh, well, Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono drawled.

"Hey Kenshin!" Kaoru yelled from across the room, "Look at this! It's exactly what happened to us!"

"Oro?" she had been looking at the manga books with fascination.

"She's only got up to eight though," she looked sad.

"That's because nine hasn't come out yet, sometime this month. I was kinda glad though, cause I haven't got paid yet. But, I know what's gonna happen anyways. Kenshin's gonna get to Kyoto, go to his master's, then Kaoru's gonna break down the door with Yahiko, and somethin' like that. It's been a while since I saw the episodes. Besides, their only up to episode nine," Ducky-dono answered, holding onto Aoshi's hand.

"Really? How'd you know all that if it isn't out?"

"Wow, this is totally weird. I watched the show and of course, read tons of fanfictions!" she told them.

"Fanfiction?"

"Yeah, a whole bunch of people read or watch your show and then write their own stories about you guys. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they do to you! Like Shorty made Kenshin and Yahiko die and then Kaoru went insane and died! But she's a tragedy shipper so it's to be expected," Ducky-dono enlightened them.

"Isn't Shorty your friend that's talking with Shishou?" Kenshin wanted to know.

"Yeah, but don't get mad at her! It was really well written and she wrote happy ones too! Her's wasn't nearly as sad as 'Her Ghost In the Fog.' NOT HER VOICE IN THE MIST!!!!!!!! Right, Shorty?"

"Hee, hee. Yeah, I know, I know! I already apologized in my review for the stupid title mix up! Besides it was kinda funny to hear you yell, 'I didn't rape her!!!!' across the cafeteria," Shorty said, looking up from Hiko.

"Yeah, well I have a tendency to be loud," she answered, "Hey, Kitty, who are you after?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"Iya, I know already," Ducky-dono said hitting Kitty's arm.

"That tickled," she giggled.

"Not now, Kitty, everyone here doesn't know of our sick, perverted inside jokes," Ducky-dono berated her.

"Yeah, Kitty," Haru joined in.

"Look you stupid cow, you are the one who said that you like it big!!"

"That was an accident!! Stupid cat!! Right, ferret-fish?"

"Um, yeah," Ducky-dono answered, backing away, it was always scary when those two had a fight.

"What is this?! Are you taking her side? I guess we're off for tonight then!" Kitty said outraged.

"No!! And, hey, I thought I said no more sick, perverted inside jokes," Ducky-dono suddenly remembered.

"Oh, sorry about that it's just so fun," Kitty apologized.

"For real," Haru agreed with her for once.

"I know, but we totally have to keep this PG-13, you know what happens if we don't, take Abracadabra for instance," Ducky-dono reminded them.

"What are you three talking about?" Sano came up behind them, "And who the hell is 'ferret-fish?'"

"Oh, I should probably tell all of you all of my names," Ducky-dono sighed, "Ducky-dono is my 1st name, it's used the most, that or ducky. Then I have, Lucky-Ducky-Chan, weasel, ferret-fish, Kagura, Hari, Kanna-Kanna-chan, Gimpy, and probably a whole bunch more that I don't feel like naming."

"No one should have that many names," Misao said.

"Well, Some of those are based off of you, so I wouldn't be talking about how many names I have," Ducky-dono informed her.

"Gomen, then."

"No problem, hey, where did Aoshi-Sama go? Let's go look for him, ne?" she suggested.

"Good idea."

So while Kitty conversed with Kenshin, Haru with Sano, and Misao and Ducky-dono searched for their beloved Aoshi-Sama, who was currently hiding under Ducky-dono's bed, Shorty was talking with Hiko.

"So," she started, unsure of what to say.

"So what? Because someone was obsessed with Baka Deshi's stupid friend, we all got stuck in this stupid hell-hole," Hiko answered.

"Hmph! Ducky-dono may be a little obsessed with Aoshi-Sama, but how can she not be?! I mean he is sooooo hot!!! And her room is cool!" she defended.

"A girl with spunk," was all he said, before going back to searching for an alcholic drink.

"What does that mean?" Hiko ignored her (sry shorty!) which made Shorty a little upset.

"Fine! I'll just go see the Battousai instead!"

"Whatever."

"Hey!!! Aoshi-Sama, come on out!! It's like way dark under there, besides, you don't know what you'll find under there, I mean it is my bed. I haven't gone under there in years! I'm always afraid of what I might find," Ducky-dono called to Aoshi who was under the bed.

"I'm not coming out."

"Oh! Aoshi-Sama, come on!" Misao pleaded.

"No."

"Uh, Aoshi-Sama?" Ducky-dono said uncertainly, shining her flashlight underneath.

"Nani?"

"You might want to get out of there," she said.

"Naze?"

"There's a really huge spider right next to you." Aoshi pulled his kodachi's and sliced it in half.

"Hey! That wasn't fair! You still have to come out!!" Misao informed him.

"Fair is fair."

While Ducky-dono and Misao were having no luck at coaxing their Aoshi-Sama out, Haru was fairing a little better with Sano.

"Get away from him, you stupid cow!!!" Megumi screamed.

"Why you stupid kitsune?!"

"Hey!! You can't call her kitsune, you're gonna have to call her fox, because that's Kitsune-kun's name!!" Ducky-dono shouted over all the noise.

"Oh, when did you think up a name for her?"

"Just Friday! Hey! Hiko, where is Shorty?" Ducky-dono answered.

"That small girl? With my baka deshi," he told her.

"Oh, I should have known who her second choice would be."

"So, tell me how the Battousai comes out again?" Kenshin sighed, this was the fifth time he'd answered the question.

"Why are you so interested?" Kaoru asked, coming over.

"No reason," she smiled.

"Give it up!! You like the Battousai!!" Kitty accused.

"Do not!!"

"Do to!!"

"DO NOT!!!!!"

"DO TO!!!!!!!"

"ALRIGHT!!!!" Ducky-dono interrupted.

"What?!" they both demanded.

"Maa, maa, no need for hostility," Ducky-dono soothed, "You both like the same guy, only different sides of his personality."

"WHAT?!" Kaoru gasped.

"Sessha agrees with Kaoru-dono, how do you both know both sides of Sessha's personality?" Kenshin said.

"Easy!! Fanfiction allows us to explore all sides of everyone!!" Ducky-dono said, "Your emotional sides, your kick-ass sides, your angry sides, and even your, well, let's just say lemon sides."

"Ewwwww!! Them things are nasty!!" Shorty said.

"Hmmm, should I write one about them?" Kitty asked.

"NO!! Jae and that ugly guy Ken was enough!! I can't believe you enjoyed writing it, and you like to read them!!" Ducky-dono said.

"Yeah, I mean that's just gross," Shorty agreed.

"But how can you say Ken is ugly?!" Haru joined the fight.

"Ya, know, it is gross, but then again, all we do in math is crack sex jokes," Ducky-dono pointed out.

"What's a lemon?" Kenshin asked.

"For real," Kaoru wanted to know as well.

"Should we tell them? Oh!! Ya know what's even worse than a lemon? A yaoi or yuri lemon!!"

"What's a yaoi? What's a yuri? And what's a lemon?" Kenshin wanted to know.

"They have a right to know what people write about them," Shorty pointed out.

"Yeah, but how will they react?" Haru asked.

"Okay, Kaoru will blush upon hearing who her lemon was with and avoid eye contact. Kenshin will blush and exclaim, 'ORO!!' Sano will look at his usual partner and say something smart-assy, and then the whore will proceed to smack him," Ducky-dono replied.

"Oh, good predictions, maybe we should tell them and see if you're right?" Shorty wondered.

"I think they can handle it," Kitty said.

"Then let's tell them!" Haru urged.

"Okay, you guys," Ducky-dono addressed the rk cast, "A lemon is a sex scene. The most common pairing's out there are: Kenshin and Kaoru, Sano and Megumi, Aoshi-Sama and Misao, and are there any other frequent one's Kitty?"

The cast of Rurouni Kenshin was reacting quite the way that Ducky-dono had predicted. Kaoru was staring at her feet, red as Kenshin's hair. Kenshin was blushing the same color, a small 'oro' escaping his lips.

"So, fox looks like we get it on. Want to make those things factual?" Sano had said.

"Hentai!" she had answered, smacking across him across the face. Aoshi and Misao were looking anywhere but each other's faces. Aoshi was a stony faced as ever, but Misao was even redder than Kaoru.

"No, there aren't any other ones, unless you count the other alternate pairings," Kitty told her.

"Ewwww! Like Kaoru and Saitou!! That was so sick, I swear I almost threw up!!"

"WHAT?!" Kaoru demanded upon hearing this. Conveniently, Saitou was missing from the party.

"Yeah, how people come up with this I have no idea, but I think it's sick, others think it's fitting, it's just their opinion," Shorty explained.

"Okay! Now time to tell you all about yaoi's and yuri's!" Ducky-dono started, "Okay, please, onegai, if you are going to lose your cookies, do it in that big garbage bag that the really nice Fed-ex man gave me when he delivered the Christmas gifts from my grandma."

"Why would we puke?"

"Trust me," Shorty told them.

"A yaoi is a gay male couple. I have nothing against gay's, but I just have some trouble swallowing it when they put all you guys together in them," Ducky-dono said, "And I'm sure you know what a lemon yaoi is now, but you don't know who people put together! The most common is Kenshin and Sano, but there are others like Kenshin and Katsu, I swear I saw this one labeled KxK and that means Kenshin and Kaoru, but it was Kenshin and Katsu! I almost threw up....." Ducky-dono got off the subject.

"DUCKY!!! Back to the topic at hand please!!"

"Huh? Oh, gomen, anyway, that's a lemon yaoi for you. And now onto yuri! Those are like yaoi's, but with females, Usually between Misao and Kaoru, or Kaoru and Megumi," she told them.

There were five heads in the big garbage bag. Aoshi, not having heard his name.

"Oh, that was to clean my room with. Oh, well, there's more!! I was reading summaries and there are some between Kenshin, Sano, and Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono caused Aoshi to join the crowd around the bag.

"Okay, Ducky-dono, don't say anymore," Shorty instructed.

"Okie dokie ryokotsi!!"

"Good, hey, just remembered, I still have to read the fifth one," Shorty remembered, "I am such a doof! I bought the sixth one instead of the fifth one!"

"Oh, I still have to read the second one," Kitty caught onto what series they were talking about.

"The one where they give each other hickeys?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Yep!!"

"God, you are so weird."

"Whatever, hey I think they're recovering from the shock!!"

"Sessha is straight!!!"

"Are you sure Baka Deshi? You crawled into my bed a lot when you were little, not to mention how much you wet the bed," Hiko commented.

"Kenshin wet the bed? That is hysterical!!" Yahiko joined in laughing with Hiko.

"Oh! I forgot a yaoi pairing! Hiko and Kenshin," Ducky-dono told them. Hiko and Kenshin returned to the bag.

"I really did need that to clean this room," she sighed.

"Too, bad, sob, sob, Ducky," Haru sympathized for her.

"I know, I know."

A/N: so? did ya like it? let me know by reviewing, weather it be flame or happy stuff! i really don't care if you flame me, it won't really bother me seeing as i am 2 perky a person to bring down!! unless u talk bad about Aoshi-Sama, then i might get mad.........


	2. Chappie 2! Meet the new fox!

A/N: haru is a gonna kill me after she reads this chappie..... anyway, i has another dedication to do, this sone goes out to Kitsune!! who in real life is my way cool cousin, and the sad thing is she acts like this all the time!! (w/ me at least....) so, plz, REVIEW!!!!!

Chappie 2

"Hey, I wonder, how the heck am I gonna send them back?"

"I don't know, you're the mage," Shorty told her.

"Oh, thanks," Ducky-dono said sarcastically.

"Your welcome, hey where's Kenshin?" she answered looking around.

"He's under Kaoru's watch," Haru answered, "And Sano?"

"Under a wench of a fox's watch," Ducky-dono told her, "And Aoshi-Sama?"

"Under Misao's protection," Kitty said, "And Kenshin?"

"We already answered that one, now shall we go steal them back?"

"Hell yeah!!"

"What do you think they're talking about?" Kaoru wondered, looking down at Kenshin.

"Sessha hopes it's how to get us home," he confessed, "This room is so dirty, I just want to clean it."

"Then clean it, you wussy," a strange voice said.

"Ahhhh!!! Who's there?" Kenshin cried.

"It's your other half, dumb-ass!"

"Oh, Battousai, I haven't had a conversation with you in forever," Kenshin said to him in a friendly manner.

"Cut the shit, I heard there was a girl here," he interrupted.

"Now, is that any way to talk?" Kenshin asked nicely.

"Battousai! So nice of you to join us!" Ducky-dono greeted.

"Is that her?"

"Iya, the one you're talking about, would be Shorty, she's over there," Ducky-dono directed him.

"Matte!! I'm supposed to be protecting you from her!" Kaoru protested.

"Okay, now I have two sides of Kenshin running around in my house! Anyway, does anyone want to help me take out this nasty garbage bag that you all lost your cookies in?" Ducky-dono asked.

"NO!! That smells way to bad to carry!" Yahiko said at once. She stuck her tongue out at him and carried it out to the road.

"Ewwww!" she let out, plugging her nose, and fighting the urge to lose her own cookies.

Ducky-dono went back inside while the Fed-ex truck came down the road. The nice man was sitting in his truck, driving down the quiet street humming to himself when he came across the house that he had visited a few days ago.

"Hmmm, I wonder what that girl did with that hopelessly large garbage bag I gave her?" he wondered as he stopped the truck. As he got out, he noticed the hopelessly large garbage bag sitting at the curb with a disgusting odor protruding from it.

"Ewwww! What did she do with it? She said she was going to clean her room with it and now there's vomit in it? Sick!" he exclaimed, picking it up and heading to the door. He rang the bell.

Ducky-dono was trying to get everyone to calm down for two seconds.

"OK!!! SHUT UP!!! MY HOUSE MY RULES!!!!!" she shouted over all the noise. Everyone got real quiet, because no one was louder than Ducky-dono. (A/N: u no that shorty!)

"That's better. Now, if you are all going to fight over your guys than I'm just going to have to sic Shrimpy on ya!! That's my demon-hell-spawn of a sister by the way," she enlightened them. Shorty covered her mouth with her hands, a gasp escaping her mouth, while Haru and Kitty looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Yep, I thought that would do it," she sounded happy. Before she could utter another word, the doorbell rang and she bounced off to answer it, the Rurouni Kenshin crew hanging around behind her.

"Hello! Oh, it's you! The really nice Fed-ex man!" she greeted him.

"How could you do this to me?! I could have given that bag to anyone, but I gave it to you! And what do you do with it? You puke in it!!" he yelled, holding up the bag.

"I'm terribly sorry, but the toilet was out of my way and well it was there," she lied, trying to shove the people behind her away.

"Are you all alone in there?"

"Si senor!" she answered in Spanish.

"It doesn't sound like your home alone," he reasoned, hearing the Battousai argue with the rurouni.

"Shut the fuck up!! I'm so sick of you!!! First you keep me locked up without any sex might I add!!" he yelled.

"Oh, that's just that new rap, ya know! Always swearing and talking about sex!! Hang on just a sec, I'll turn it off," she said through gritted teeth.

"SHOVE OFF!!! OR I SWEAR SHRIMPY IS A COMIN' OUT!!!!!!" she threatened. All fell silent.

"Ok, it's off," Ducky-dono smiled sweetly.

"About the bag-" he started.

"I'm am so, so, so, sorry!" she apologized, bowing.

"I was just going to say that it was alright and I'll give you a new one," he told her.

"Oh!" she said, shooting back up, "Tankie tankie Mr. Fed-ex man!!"

"Your welcome, I hope you feel better!" he called, climbing back into his truck. As soon as he was gone, Ducky-dono's sweet smile melted into a death glare.

"You!" she said, taking the Battousai by the ear, "are spending some quality time with a seven year old demon."

"Ducky-dono! No!! He'll die!!!" Shorty protested.

"Tough!!" she answered, throwing him in the basement.

"Fine! I hope you know this means I'm after Aoshi-Sama now!" she told her.

"Yeah, yeah!" she was about to say more, but she was cut off my Battousai's screams coming up through the vent.

"Oh, that was mean," Kitty said.

"She really is evil, I imagine she's making him play some dumb game where they act out a show or something and the worst part is that she won't hesistate to use violence to get you do her bidding. Yep, she even tied me to a chair with her yarn one time then she smacked me until I agreed," (A/N: seriously! she did!! and it hurt!! i was practically beggin' for mercy....) Ducky-dono said, reminiscing of all the times she'd been forced to do the same.

"Feel very bad for him," Haru shook her head, before returning to her pursue of Sano.

"Hey! Just where are you going?!" Megumi (A/N: a.k.a. the whore!!) demanded of her.

"Where do you think? To steal Sano's heart of course!" she answered with a large smile.

"I think I like this girl, she actually shows an emotion other than hate for me," Sano said, liking all the attention he was getting.

"You shouldn't be enjoying this!!!" Megumi yelled.

"It is loud," Aoshi stated.

"I'm gonna go check on poor Battousai," Ducky-dono announced, hearing him scream again, although this one sounded like it was a cry of agony.

"Good idea, he's been down there a whole five minutes, I'm surprised he's not dead yet," Shorty said, slowly advancing on Aoshi.

As Ducky-dono descended down the stairs, Shorty moved real close to Aoshi and started a conversation. Misao was god knows where in the house.

"So, Aoshi-Sama," she started, "Why are you always so quiet?"

"I like the quiet," was all he said.

"Aren't you going to talk to me?"

"No."

"That's not very polite," she admonished him.

"I don't care. I can't stand this, you and your friend, won't leave me alone, not to mention Misao," he said standing up.

"Hey Aoshi-Sama!!!" Misao called, running up to him.

"What?"

"Come look, they've got fishies!!!!" she told him, smiling brightly.

"Fine," he answered, a hint of a smirk on his face.

"No luck Shorty?" Haru asked, her hand interlocked with Sano's.

"Nope," she sighed.

"Hey, where's Kitty?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen her, Kenshin, or Kaoru in a while," Shorty admitted.

"Leave him alone!!! He's allergic to cats!!" Kaoru yelled.

"I'm not a real cat!! It's just my name!!" Kitty shouted back.

"Maa, maa ladies, why don't we-" Kenshin tried to settle them down.

"SHUT UP!!!!" they said in unison.

"You're too young for him!" Kaoru accused.

"You're no better!!!" Kitty reminded her.

"Age is just a number!!"

"Then my age shouldn't matter!!!"

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Dammit!!! No, I'm closer in age!!!!"

"But as I recall, AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!!!!!!" Kitty threw her words at her.

"NOT FOR YOU!!!!!!!" Kaoru screamed.

"I think we found them," Haru said, having heard all the screaming and shouting.

"God, what's going on up here?" Ducky-dono came up, dragging an unconscious Battousai and a rather large stick.

"Did you beat him unconscious?" Shorty inquired.

"No! My sister took care off this, I just had to use this to beat her back," she said.

"Wow, she's that bad, huh?"

"Not as bad as Shorty's brothers," Ducky-dono told them.

"Honto?" Sano asked, shaking his hand out of Haru's.

"Really, they are-" Shorty was interrupted by a distant scream of 'Banzai' coming from outside the window.

"What the hell?" Sano let out. Ducky-dono looked down at her watch and thought to herself,

'Right on time.' Megumi rushed to the window to see what was coming. She was suddenly greeted by a foot flying in through the window. A new girl had flown through the window and landed on Megumi in a heap.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!" she screamed, "Sano help me!!! Get off me you bitch!!!!" Before she could say another thing the girl karate chopped her on the shoulder while saying,

"Hiya!! Nice to meetcha!!!!"

"Sano!!! Get her off me!!! She is sooooo fat it hurts!!!! Get off me you fat slut!!!!!" Megumi cried. The girl then proceeded punch Megumi's face in.

"Hey, Kitsune, what's up?" Haru asked.

"Hey!! Everyone, meet Kitsune!! I mentioned her earlier, she never told me her name, that's why I call her this. And in case you were wondering why she dresses this way, she likes to cos play a lot," Ducky-dono introduced. After the introduction, Sano causally strolled over to Kitsune and lifted her up by her arm.

"Poplar-dono!!" Shorty greeted, "Don't ask, that's what I call her," she added seeing the puzzled faces.

"What are you talking about? She's really light, in fact compared to her you're a cow!!" Sano said.

"Hey! What's wrong with cows? And are you favoring her?" Haru asked.

"Sano! I can't believe you would say that!! She almost killed me!!" Megumi protested, ignoring Haru.

"Yeah, yeah-" he started.

"Have a pockie!!!" Kitsune said, shoving a candy in his mouth. He bit down on it and set Kitsune back down.

"Hmmm, this is pretty good," he stated. As soon as she was on the ground, she ran to Ducky-dono screaming her name. Kenshin, coming out of the bathroom, saw a ninja girl running at Ducky-dono. He ran in front of her in a protective stance and knocked the ninja girl back. She smacked into the wall.

"Owie!" she exclaimed, holding her arm. Both Ducky-dono and Sano rushed to her side as she started to stand up. "You a meanie!!!!!" she yelled at Kenshin.

"What's da matter with you?!" she demanded, flinging a plastic shriken at his face.

"ORORORORORORO!!!!!!!!!" he cried as it connected with his face.

"Are you okay?" Sano asked.

"I'm so sorry he did that to you!!!" Ducky-dono apologized.

"It's okay, I better be going, sorry for crashing your party," Kitsune said, making her way to the door. Before she could leave, Sano grabbed her arm.

"Owie you fool!!! (F-O-O-L)" she cried.

"Hey, she said fool, hee, hee, F-O-O-L!!" Shorty giggled.

"Sorry, but it's okay, we don't mind having you here," he told her.

"Sano!!! How dare you!! Just be on your way, boyfriend-stealing-bitch!!!" Megumi shouted.

"Shut up, can't you be nice for once?" Sano said.

"I can't believe you just said that to me!"

"Well, he did, so deal with it!!!" Kitsune answered, "I think I'll stay for a while, things around here are pretty interesting." With that said she ran over to Ducky-dono.

"Ducky-dono!!!!!! I missed you soooo much!!!! I only saw you yesterday!!!!!!!" she exclaimed. Ducky-dono threw her arms around Kitsune in a tight, but friendly embrace.

"OWIE!!!!!" she screamed, as Ducky-dono put pressure on her injured arm.

"Megumi, you should look at that," Sano said.

"Hmph!! No way am I looking at her wound!!!" she whined.

"Fine, I'll do it," Sano compromised, taking Kitsune into the bathroom to treat her arm.

"Your not even a doctor!" she protested.

"Yeah, but I know how to wrap bandages," he reasoned with her, starting to wrap Kitsune's arm.

"Hmph!!" Megumi pouted.

"Ya know, Kitsune, you shouldn't play ninja for awhile, you banged your arm up pretty good," he said as he gently wrapped her arm up.

"Don't worry about me!!! By the way, what's your name?" she asked him.

"Sagara Sanosuke, but you can call me Sano."

"Okay Sano!!!" she said with a bright smile.

"Ya know, kid, you're kinda cute," he told her patting her on the head.

"Hey!! I'm no kid!!" she said, giving a karate chop to his head. Their conversation was cut short as Ducky-dono called for Kitsune.

"Kitsune, could you please take out the garbage bag that the Fed-ex man brought back into the house?" she asked her.

"I'll do, she doesnt' have to," Sano volunteered.

"Hey!!! I can do it!!! I'm no cripple!!!!" she protested, "Unlike poor Ducky-dono over there."

"I am a cripple no longer! I can walk I tell you!!! Walk!!!" Ducky-dono made a huge dramatic scene out of it.

"We know, Ducky, we know," Shorty assured her, patting her arm in a soothing manner.

Before Sano could say another word against taking out the bag, Kitsune jumped out the broken window, garbage bag in hand. She sprinted to the curb and dropped the bag. She then leapt up on top of the roof, waiting.

Inside....

"Hey, you're spending some time with Kitsune, do ya have a little crush on her?" Ducky-dono accused. He flushed red and mumbled a negative answer. They then heard footsteps on the roof.

"Oh, no," Sano groaned, knowing exactly who it was. They looked up and saw Kitsune running across the roof. She had a blow pipe in her hand and binoculars in her other, aimed at the garbage man. She blew into the blow pipe, while running, hitting him with a dart on the side of his neck.

"Die fool!!!" (F-O-O-L) she shouted in triumph.

"Hey! I thought I said no more ninja play!!" he yelled. Startled by the voice behind her, she began to fall off the roof.

"Kitsune!!" Sano yelled in dismay.

"Boom!!!! I'm flying!!!" she shouted in glee.

"No you're falling!!" Sano corrected her, grabbing her arm as she fell.

"Ugh," the garbage man was starting to come too.

"Yipee!!!!" she let out, running up his shoulders and onto the power lines. She then slid down the telephone pole to where the garbage man was lying, looking around. She picked him up, threw him in the back of the truck, sat herself in the front and drove off. Sano took off, chasing the truck.

"Do you even have a driver's license?!" he asked, running faster.

"Nope!!!!! Whoop, whoop!!! 100 hit!!!" she yelled back.

"Get back here!!!!"

"That was interesting," Ducky-dono said with a huge sweatdrop on her head.

"Definately. I've never seen her like that," Shorty said.

"Has anyone seen Kitty? I haven't seen her since Kitsune got here," Ducky-dono asked.

"Nah, she took off towards the bathroom, dragging Kenshin with her about twenty minutes ago," Haru supplied.

"Oh, god," Ducky-dono sighed, going towards the bathroom.

"Kitty, this isn't time for some sick perverted joke, okay? Get out here now," she said through the wood.

"Oh, but that tickled!!"

"Ororo!!! Kitty-dono, please, let me go!" they heard Kenshin cry.

"No!!" she responded evilly.

"Oh, I'm glad that this is a pickable lock," Ducky-dono sighed, taking out a hair pin and beginning to pick the lock.

"Hey!! You are such a scam, Kitty!!" Haru accused.

"For real, you were just like totally making us think that you actually did something!" Ducky-dono accused.

"Did not, okay so maybe we did," she said, getting of the floor, where she had just been talking with Kenshin.

"Hey, where's Kaoru?" Shorty asked, "And more importantly, where are Aoshi-Sama and Misao?"

"Oh, I saw Kaoru and Battousai take off towards that room, and I haven't seen Misao or Aoshi," Megumi answered.

"Really? Oh, shit, that's my parents room," she said.

"Should we knock?"

"We might get killed if we don't," Ducky-dono pointed out, knocking on the wood.

"Go the fuck away," came a curt response.

"Oooookay, let's go look for Aoshi-Sama and Misao," Ducky-dono said, leaving them alone.

"Hee, hee, Aoshi-Sama!!" they heard Misao giggle.

"Not another one," she sighed, walking away.

"We're back," Sano announced, carrying Kitsune over his shoulders.

"What happened?!" Ducky-dono cried in alarm.

"She tried to throw the garbage man in the river, so I had to, uh, knock her out," he mumbled. Ducky-dono sighed for the third time.


	3. Author's Note: i is so sorry!

**Auther's Note**

So, so, so, so, sorry!!!

I is currently workin' on chappie 3 w/ ideas from Shorty, Kitsune, and anyone of my friends that has an idea. I is sorry, but this ficcie is gonna be on hold until after the new years, cuz i probably won't get a chance to get online anytime real soon, but I might be able to get chappie 3 up before x-mas.... i is hopin' to do that, but i is so so so so so so so sorry for having to make an authors note for this ficcie, but like i said, maybe chappie 3'll go up..... so plz, keep with me, i don't give up on ficcies i've started posting, no matter if i hate them or not, i don't think that it's fair to you readers out there who do want to read the rest of the ficcie, so i finish them, cuz i no how it is when the writer just stops writing and leaves you hanging and it sux!! that is part of the reason for my writing, but i don't usually hate any of my ficcies.... so i hope that you do stay and bear with me and again i give my sincere apologizes at having to put it on hold for now, and i will try to finish writin' it over break while i can't get online, so i hope that makes some amends.... so look forward to some and start lookin' by january 3 or 4 cuz that's when i'll start puttin' stuff up again... (like my battousai and kaoru ficcie, samuraiduckie wants to read.... as well as momiji....) i also has another ficcie that i'll put up shortly after that hopefully, and remember, check out my page, i gots lots of ficcies up already if ya want to read those while i is makin' ya wait for this.... if ya like KK and haven't read unvoiced love and forgotten memories,give it a shot, and review it, don't care how long it's been up a review is a review.... so until january, Luv Ya Lots!!!!!!


	4. Chappie 3! Punishing a Fox!

A/N: I'mmmm baaaaccccckkkk!!!! i hope u all forgive for the long wait, but here it is an update! and sooner than i promised! i got some time and i wrote this chappie and even found time to post it!! along with a bunch of one shots!! so enjoy!! luv ya lots!!!

disclaimer: haven't done this yet, but now i'm doin' it for the rest of this ficcie! so for the rest of these chappies, NO!! i don't own kenshin!! or aoshi-sama, no matter how much i want to!!!

Chappie 3

"We need some kind of real punishment," Ducky-dono sighed.

"Yeah, for the Fox Lady!!!" Kitsune agreed.

"Hai, for that stupid Fox," Haru said.

"I KNOW!" Shorty interjected.

"What?" Ducky-dono demanded, desperate for a way to punish the Fox she hated so much. (a/n: yes, i do hate her, with a passion.... although not as much as tomoe......)

"My brothers, no da," she informed her. Ducky-dono's eyes lit up with happiness.

"Good idea!" she instantly loved the idea.

"I'll go get them!" Shorty said.

"You do that!! And I'll try and find a way to send them back for when we're finished," Ducky-dono said.

"Will do," she said, leaving.

"BYE DIGIKO!!!!!!" Kitsune bid her good-bye. (a/n: that's what she calls her for real, so plz try to keep up w/ it.)

"Okay, Kitsune, do you want to help me find a way to put them back in there own world?"

"Why would I want to send Sano back?" she asked.

"For real," Haru agreed.

"Okay, I think I found the spell," Ducky-dono interrupted, "Only we'll leave Megumi here to be tortured."

"Sounds good!!" Kitsune agreed.

"Hey, a Kitsune, I have a song for you....." Ducky-dono started.

"Oh no!! NOT JITTERBUG!!!!!"

"It's not called jitterbug," Ducky-dono corrected her, placing a cd into the player.

Jitterbug, jitterbug Jitterbug, jitterbug

You put the boom boom into my heart You send my soul sky high When your lovin' starts

"TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kitsune pleaded.

"No," Ducky-dono said, letting the music play, singing along.

Jitterbug into my brain Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same But something's bugging you Something ain't right

"PLEASE!!!!!!!!" Kitsune begged.

"Nope."

My best friend told me what you did last night Left me sleepin' in my bed I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead.

Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Wake me up before you go-go I don't want to miss it when you hit that high Wake me up before you go-go 'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo Wake me up before you go-go Take me dancing tonight I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)

"Oh, god, I'm gonna die!!!!" she cried out.

"Still a no."

You take the grey skies out of my way You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day Turned a bright spark into a flame My beats per minute never been the same

"Is it over yet?"

"Uh uh."

'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool It makes me crazy when you act so cruel Come on, baby, let's not fight We'll go dancing, everything will be all right

"Now is it over?"

"No."

Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Wake me up before you go-go I don't want to miss it when you hit that high Wake me up before you go-go 'Cause I'm not plannin'' on going solo Wake me up before you go-go Take me dancing tonight I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah, baby)

"Come on, yet?"

"Almost."

(Jitterbug)  
(Jitterbug)

Cuddle up, baby, move in tight We'll go dancing tomorrow night It's cold out there, but it's warm in bed They can dance, we'll stay home instead

(Jitterbug)

"You said it was almost over."

"Did I? How foolish of me."

Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Wake me up before you go-go I don't want to miss it when you hit that high Wake me up before you go-go 'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo Wake me up before you go-go Take me dancing tonight

"What about now?"

"Okay, for real, it's almost over."

Wake me up before you go-go, don't you dare to leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Take me dancing

(Boom-boom-boom)

"Okay, now it's over."

"Thank god!!!!" Kitsune let out as Shorty walked back in along with two girls.

"Hey, look who I saw," she said, "Wolfie and Aku Naraku."

"Ahola ladies," Ducky-dono greeted them.

"Hi Ducky!!" Wolfie greeted.

"Hello," Aku Naraku added.

"Good to see you, where are the tiny terrors?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Right here," Shorty answered pointing to two children, "This is Murphy." He was the taller one, wearing a plaid shirt and a Jason mask on his face. (A/N: MOMIJI!!!!!! i lost da paper w/ da descriptions, so plz forgive if dey r off a bit.... or a lot......)

"And this is Damien," she introduced the other. This one had more belts around his waist than on Lulu's dress from Final Fantasy X. (A/N: totally good game, if ya got PS2 i seriously recommend it......) Looped in those many belts, were numerous plastic poles and toy swords. (A/N: still can't find the damn piece of paper.....)

"Okay.....! Put them downstairs," she ordered. Shorty ushered them to the basement.

"Watch it grow!!!" Kitty said suddenly. (A/N: i luv my math class......)

"Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono erupted with laughter.

"God, I was only talking about the number of torture weapons," Kitty clarified.

"Were not!! So what? At least I don't like it fast!!!" Ducky-dono shot back.

"Kitty likes it fast..... and I'm fast," Kitty answered.

"Well I like it big!!" Haru added.

"Apparently Wham! does too, because the name of their cd is 'Make It Big.' Hey, I have that cd," Ducky-dono added as an after thought.

"I don't want to know, I don't want to know," Shorty chanted to herself.

"Neither do I," Kitsune agreed.

"Oh, god! Kitty, and Haru!! You'll never believe what my mommy said about Sean Connery!! (a/n: yeah, i call her mommy, got a problem with it?!! huh? huh? u wanna start somethin?! ok, i'll shut up now....)" Ducky-dono exclaimed.

"What did she say about him?" Kitty urged.

"That she would do him you or old!! Oh, god I was in stitches da whole time!!"

"Okay, I thought we were gonna put Megumi in the basement and then send them back," Shorty reminded them.

"Oh, yeah, Come on Kitsune, let's do this..... Ha!! Ha! Innuendo!!" Ducky-dono said wickedly, grabbing Megumi's arm.

"You are so bad!!" Kitty scolded.

"Nah!! I still haven't gotten over you and Cowie going to Vegas to elope without me....." Ducky-dono said in a hurt voice.

"Hey, we didn't do it (a/n: another innuendo!! only this one was totally by mistake... for once in my life.....) because I had to take a shower," Kitty argued.

"Wow! You're heavy Megumi!!" Ducky-dono said lifting her along with Kitsune.

"Aw, quit complaining and help!!!" Kitsune reprimanded.

"Yes ma'am," she shut up.

"Is she in the basement now?" Shorty asked a half-hour when they got back up.

"Oh yeah!! But beating back the torture units was the part that took us the longest," Ducky-dono told her.

"Great, let's send these guys on their way then," Shorty said.

"Wait, before we go, I have a song for you," she said, a gleam of evil in both her eyes and her smile.

"Here we go, number 16, and cue da music," she muttered to herself.

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on Stacy's mom has got it goin' on Stacy's mom has got it goin' on Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Shorty screamed.

"Oh, yes.... sorry Kitty, that was really nasty," she added, realizing what she just said.

"That's okay, now continue making Shorty mad....." she said.

Stacy can I come over After schoooolll (after school)  
We can hang around by the pooooollll (hang by the pool)  
Did your mom get back From her bussiness trip? Is she there or is she tryin' To give me the sliiiiippp (give me the slip)

"Okay, I'll stop, but only for you Shorty, and because I don't like that song either," Ducky-dono stopped the music.

"That's not fair!!! You didn't stop mine!!" Kitsune protested.

"That's because I liked that song and I don't like this one, now come on I have to send them back. Why don't you take Sano around the block real fast, so you're not here to screw me (a/n: ohohohohohoho!!!!!!! kitty i is sooooo bad.......) up while I say the spell," Ducky-dono suggested.

"Okay!!!" Kitsune grabbed Sano and ran down the street, Haru making a fuss and following.

"Here we go," Ducky-dono took a deep breath and started her spell, "Oh forces beyond, we haven taken these people away. Hope against hope, and don't do what they say. Take them back. Back to their home before me or Kitty has a chance to whack-" Shorty hit Ducky-dono upside the head.

"What?!"

"That was nasty."

"But true," Kitty supplied.

"Alright, I'll change it. Oh forces beyond, we haven taken these people away. Hope against hope, and don't do what they say. Return these people home, back to their dome!! And keep us home, within our dome!!!" she corrected. There was a flash of light and the scenery changed. All shielded their eyes from it.

"Umm, Ducky, we're defineatly not in Lewiston anymore," Shorty said, looking around.

"Hey, why are we still here?" Kaoru asked, looking at Kenshin.

"Sessha doesn't know Kaoru-dono, that he doesn't," Kenshin answered.

"Oh, great, now what?" she asked, sighing.

"Don't look so depressed Kaoru-chan!!" Misao finally came out with Aoshi.

"You two, too?"

"Yep!! And it tickled...." Misao giggled.

"You sound like Kitty," Wolfie pointed out.

"Hey, where's Ducky-dono, Kitty, and Shorty?" Aku Naraku asked, looking around.

"Hmm, I don't know," Kitsune came in, Haru and Sano in tow.

"Oh, great, we have to find them now," Haru let out an exasperated sigh.

"Great!! Now two of our bestest friends are missing and we can't find them!!" Kitsune said.

"I have a suggestion, that I do," Kenshin provided.

"What?"

"That perhaps something was wrong with the spell and they got sucked into our world."


	5. Chappie 4! Wanna Elope?

A/N: hey!!! i'm back, i no it's been 4eva!!! But, i was seriously lacking inspiration!!! but perhaps some reviews would re-inspirate me? the only thing i had to keep me writin' at da moment, was hearing of Wolfie's naughty dreams....... YUCK WOLFIE!!!!! but, it gave me all i needed to complete this chappie, so i expect reviews from ALL who read this!!! or u won't be gettin' anymore cuz i won't be writin' due to extreme lack of inspiration...... so why don't u just REVIEW!!!!!!! okies? thankies...... btw, i tried to make this one pretty long, due to the long wait..... which brings me to REVIEWS!!!!!!

Chappie 4: Wanna Elope?

"Hey, Shorty, how are we gonna get ourselves back?"

"Don't know," she answered.

"Don't look so depressed!! Nowme and Duckycan run off to a shrine somewhere and elope!!" Kitty said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not right now, but I do like that idea," Ducky-dono told her.

"Okay, all we have to do is reverse the spell, do you remember what you said?"

"Something about me and Kitty whacking-"

"Not that!! What you really said!" Shorty interrupted.

"Ah, right, that, no I don't remember. Sorry, you know how bad my memory is," she reminded her apologetically, scratching the back of her head.

"Great."

"Come on Sano, let's go get out of here!!!" Kitsune suggested.

"Umm, no, first we have to figure out how to get your friends back," he told her.

"Alright! You and me then!!" Haru suggested.

"I just told Kitsune that we had to try and get them back," he said exasperated.

"Ok, ok, ok," Kaoru started, "Let me see that book of hers."

"NO!!" Kitsune shouted all of a sudden.

"Nani?"

"You can't touch that book," she said.

"Naze?"

"Just don't." Kaoru rolled her eyes, not liking the 'Kitsune' much better than the first. And her screams could still be heard from the basement.

"That's a stupid answer," she said, picking up the book.

"Alright, I warned you." The book glowed purple and zapped her.

"ITAI!!! What the hell is with that thing?!" she said, holding her hurt hand.

"That was a spell she put on it so that no one but those of magical origin can touch it," she explained.

"Greaaaaaaaaaatttttt," she said, "Now we have no way to get back!!"

"We do," Kitsune corrected her.

"How?"

"By me!!"

"Oh, I like choco bars!! Any kind of choco bars!!" Shorty was singing to pass the time as they walked through the market.

"Okay, give it a rest," Ducky-dono requested.

"Alright, alright. I brush against the freckles that I hate it so and I heave a little sigh for you!" she began another.

"Oh!! I like that one!! It's heavy the love that I would share with you, then it dissolves like it was just a sugar cube!! Kitty join us!!" Ducky-dono sang along as well.

"Don't know the words, I'll listen until we hit a shrine to wed in," she said.

"Now the little pain sittin' in my heart has shrunk in a bit, but it really doesn't hurt me now!" Shorty went on.

"Those silly horoscope signs, guess I can't trust them after all!!!!! Together!!" Ducky-dono invited.

"If we could get further away, ooooooo, I wonder what it would be like, yeah!! I'd be so happy inside my heart!!!" they sang as one.

"All the memories, I have are beautiful in my mind, but they don't feed the hunger deep inside my soul!!!" Shorty sang.

"And tonight I thought, that I'd be just sittin' in my sorrow!!! Together again!!" Ducky-dono decided.

"And now I must wonder why, what it did really mean to you, I just can't see it anymore!!! I just can't see it anymore!! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" they finished, more than a few heads turning to stare at the new comers.

"Now we have an audience," Kitty observed.

"Yay!! People to recognize our singing skills!!!" Ducky-dono rejoiced.

"Um, no Ducky, no," Shorty admonished her.

"Oh, sorry then," she apologized.

"It's okay."

"Hey!! The Akabeko!!" Ducky-dono called.

"Let's go!!" Shorty said.

"Is it a shrine? No, I know it's not," Kitty smiled.

"Hahaha, but come on, I'm starved!!" Ducky-dono whined.

"Alright, let's eat and maybe that will help your memory," Shorty said thoughtfully.

"Hopefully," Kitty said.

"You?"

"Yep!! I can touch the book because Ducky-dono loves me!!!" Kitsune said.

"Okay, now we have a crazy girl that is telling us she can make everything right," Kaoru sighed.

"Don't worry Kaoru-dono, I'm sure that Kitsune-dono will find a way to get us back, that she will," Kenshin tried to assure her.

"You better be right!!"

"I am, relax!! Wolfie, will ya come over here and help me?" she requested.

"Sure," she answered, shooting a longing glance at Kenshin.

"Not again," Kaoru muttered, catching her gaze.

"Kaoru-dono is anything wrong?"

"Iya, Kenshin, I'm fine," she told him.

"Okay, now would ya just hold that?" Kitsune instructed Wolfie.

"Yep," she did as she was told.

"Great!! Now we're almost ready to start!!" she said.

"Uh oh, we're in trouble, somethin's come along and it's burst our bubble. Yeah, yeah, uh oh, we're in trouble gotta get home marchin' on the double!!!" Shorty sang for the millionth time.

"Okay, it was fun like the first ten times, but now it's annoying," Ducky-dono informed her.

"Another one then?"

"I'm Henry the VIII I am! Henry the VIII I am, I am," she began, motioning for Shorty to join her, which she did, "I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before!! And everyone was a Henry, Henry! Wouldn't have a Willy or Sam, no Sam!! I'm her eighth old Henry. Second verse, same as the first! I'm Henry the VIII I am. Henry the VIII I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before and everyone was a-"

"Enough!!! Come on let's go get something to eat," Kitty had heard too much.

"Ah, gomen ne, Kitty," Ducky-dono apologized, "We're still on for tonight though, right?"

"You know it," she purred. (ha! purred! cat! purrs!!)

"Oh, good!" she squealed.

"Alright, let's go," Shorty cut short their joke time.

"Right, right," Ducky-dono said, before breaking out into a new song.

"When I first saw, you lookin' at me, the gleam in your eyes made my heart skip a beat. My body felt nervous and my heart began to pound as this test of love you brought me to my knees," she began.

"No! That song is way weird!!" Shorty protested.

"But, it's a Kenshin theme song!!" she whined.

"I know but it's weird."

"Fine! But the song isn't over and I will finish later....."

"Good!! Now time to repeat after Kitsune!" Kitsune said, "Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my friends to me! To me, to me!! Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my friends to me!!!"

"Isn't that a song?" Aku Naraku inquired.

"It is?"

"Um, yeah, only it goes a little different. Actually we sing it in chorus as a warm up," Wolfie agreed.

"Whatever!! Are they back yet? They should be," Kitsune said.

"I don't think it worked," Haru pointed out.

"Oh, bummer ted!" Kitsune muttered.

"Okay, so how are we gonna get them back now?" Kaoru asked.

"Dunno, I'll just keep trying that spell," she said.

"Oh Kami. Well if you can't get them back, then send us back at least," she tried to compromise.

"Don't know how to do that. Only Ducky does."

"Don't worry Kaoru," Wolfie tried to assure her, "It'll be okay."

"No it won't!!"

"Hola Tae-san!!!" Ducky-dono said upon entering the restaurant.

"Umm, hello?" she answered uncertainly.

"Oh, yeah. They don't speak Spanish," Ducky-dono remembered.

"No da, Ducky," Shorty rolled her eyes. (A/N: ok, i no that they don't speak english either, but play along, ne?)

"Come on, I'm starving!" Kitty said.

"Right, right, let's go find somewhere to sit. The sooner we eat and I have brain food then the sooner we can get back!" Ducky-dono said, "Because I miss Kyo!! I hug him, and squeeze him, and sleep with him allllllll night, every night!!"

"I wish I could hug him, and squeeze him, and sleep with him all night, every night," Kitty whined.

"If you're nice, then maybe I'll let you hug him," Ducky-dono said to her.

"Oh, my," Shorty said, not very interested in the topic.

"Okay, let's eat!!"

"Good idea."

"BRING BACK!!! BRING BACK!!! OH BRING BACK MY FRIENDS TO ME!!!!!"

"I don't think that's helping," Kaoru pointed out.

"Yah, but it will eventually," Kitsune told her.

"Oh, Kami, kill me now," she prayed.

"Ah, ah, ah! No dying until after we get them back!! Sano will you help me?" she asked innocently.

"Sure Kitsune," he answered.

"I'll help too!" Haru offered.

"Okies, hold this," she handed her a crystal.

"What the hell is that for?" Sano asked.

"It's for a portal. You two make a circle with it-" she was suddenly cut off by the sound of screaming. Loud and long shrieks.

"Probably just Megumi, as I was saying, make a circle with the crystals."

"Okay, don't see how this will help, but hopefully it will," Sano said.

"I told you before! It's to make a portal. Now!! Everyone sing with me!!! Come on Aku Naraku!! Pitch in!!"

"I don't want to sing a happy song. Let's sing something dark and has some involvement with Hell," she requested.

"No! This is a happy song!! Which we will use to help us get our friends back!! You'll help me, won't you Wolfie?"

"I will," she answered with a smile, moving closer, "Come on Aku, for me."

"Oh fine! But afterwards something to do with demons," she compromised.

"Deal," Wolfie shook with her.

"Okay, now everyone has to sing, yes even you Aoshi," she told the silent man. (A/N: who is oh so fine......)

"No."

"Please, Aoshi-Sama!!!!!!" Misao pleaded.

"Alright."

"Say more than two words at least!!" Wolfie told him.

"No."

"I must wonder why Ducky likes a man like him....." Wolfie mused.

"Like I was saying, we should really try to figure out how to get- OH!! A shrine!! Come on Kitty," Ducky-dono lost her train of thought.

"No!" Shorty grabbed her by the back of the shirt.

"Awww!! Why not?!" she demanded.

"We have to find a way to get home!!" she reminded her.

"Sure thing, right after the ceremony," Ducky-dono protested.

"Please?" Kitty joined the plea.

"NO!! What would Banana-dono (A/N: Haru.... what shorty really calls her....) say?"

"What she doesn't know, won't hurt her," they said simply.

"At least, not until she reads this and gets really pissed because she wasn't here," Ducky-dono added thoughtfully.

"But...." Kitty whined.

"NO!! What the shuck (sp momiji?) is wrong with you?! That's just mean!!" Shorty said.

"Aww, now you make me feel bad...." Ducky-dono said.

"Now let's go," Shorty said, dragging them both away from the shrine.

"But....." Ducky-dono started, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, "I wanna let Kitty know how much I love her!!!!!!!"

"What the shuck is the matter with you?!?" Shorty repeated, "That is sooooo WRONG!!!!! You are both girls!!!! Not to mention only thirteen!!!"

"But I love her!!!!!!" she wailed.

"Oh, Ducky!!!!! I love you too!!! But I think you should know that I'm already married and cheating on you with about five other people!!!" Kitty confessed.

"I knew that already!!! But I still love you!!!!!!" Ducky-dono said, getting emotional.

"ALRIGHT!!!! This is shucking (cracks me up every time, momiji, especially da conversation.....) crazy!!!! Let me rephrase that: YOU are shucking crazy!!!!!" she pointed at both of them.

"Aw, do you really mean that? By the way, I didn't need a memo, I know that I'm crazy," Ducky-dono informed her.

"Help me, help me........" Shorty prayed as the other two tried to sneak towards the shrine again.

"ONE MORE TIME!!!!! BRING BACK, BRING BACK, BRING BACK, OH BRING BACK MY FRIENDS TO ME!!!!! TO ME!!!!!!" Kitsune sang at the top of her lungs, causing all to cover their ears.

"Hey, Kitsune, maybe you should stop," Sano advised.

"Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be working!! Help me Sano!!" she flung her arms around his neck. Haru's eyebrow twitched.

"Sano," she began sweetly, "Could you help me fix the crystals?"

"Sure thing," he answered, removing Kitsune from him.

"Thank you," she replied, a small blush staining her cheeks.

"Okies, now for another song!!!!" Kitsune yelled.

"NO!!!!" all occupants of the room shouted.

"Hey, Kenshin....." Wolfie purred (i can't believe u were purring and shit in ur sleep and about THEM!!!!)

"Ororororo," he uttered.

"Not now girlfriend!! He has been hit on by like three girls today!!! He does NOT need another one of you on his case!!!" Kaoru defended, stepping in between them.

"Aw, you ruin my fun," she whispered. (i can't believe it!!!!!!!! i luv dis side of u!!!!!!!!!! so much perverted humor and you were purring and shit!!! ABOUT THEM!!!! Nasty!!!)

"Good!!!" she said.

"Maa, maa, ladies, we should try to settle down, that we should," Kenshin said with a smile.

"SHUT UP!!!!" Kaoru instructed.

"Oro....." he whispered, slinking back against the wall.

"Kitsune!!" Sano shouted, "I don't think that it's gonna help!!!"

"Listen to him already!!" Haru agreed easily.

"One more time!! It might work this time!!"

"Pleasure man, pleasure man, he gets pleasure from his hand, pleasure man," Kitty sang as she walked with them.

"Okay, too much nasty talk, let's stop," Shorty asked.

"Wow!! Look!! It's soooo big!!! I've never seen one so big!!!!" Ducky-dono said, pointing to a man, erm, a bit low on his body.

"Ducky!!!" Shorty exclaimed, surprised at her.

"Oh, Ducky, that was bad...... in a good way," Kitty said.

"What? I was just talking about the dog at his feet," she corrected. (okay, have u ever seen da episode w/ notaru? well, in da preview kaoru's talkin' about notaru and she says what i said up above)

"Oh, erm, I'm so embarrassed," Shorty said, blushing.

"At least you're not so embarrassado," Ducky-dono told her.

"Oh, yeah, poor Senora," Shorty sympathized, "she said she was so 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed.'"

"Yep, but I'm still marveling at the fact that Shorty thought that you were talking about, ya know," Kitty said.

"Oh, just let it fly!! It was only once, at least we don't have her saying all our sick perverted jokes every five seconds, like we do," Ducky-dono said.

"Yeah, but can ya repeat what you said? I have to put it in my agenda," Kitty requested.

"Why of course!!! Look!! Wow!! It's sooooo big!!! I've never seen one that big before!!!" she obliged.

"Oh, thank you," she thanked.

"De nada," she replied with a smile.

"You know I don't understand the Spanish shit," she reminded her.

"Who said I did?"

"Okay!! This is it!! Everyone has to sing," Kitsune told them, "Let's do it!!!"

"Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my friends to me, to me!!!" They all belted at the same time. The portal did something funny. Yes, it did something funny. Don't make fun of my word usage, it did something funny.

"Ahhhhh!!!! Kitty!! Hold my hand, I'm scared!!" Ducky-dono cried as darkness surrounded her.

"Oh, we never even got to elope!!" Kitty moaned. (moaning..... say like, in Spanish? with aladin?)

"Next time, I promise, as long as you don't have to take a shower. Now hold my hand!!!" Ducky-dono promised.

"All right, next time it is," she said, taking her hand.

"Ahhhh, what is your shuckin' problem?! We're being sucked into a vortex and you want to hold hands?!" Shorty said.

"Yes," they replied.

"Help me........"

"They're back!!!!!!!!" Kitsune exclaimed in joy, "See!! My song did work!!!!!!!!"


	6. Chappie 5! Meet The Parents! hey that's ...

A/N: ok, sry, i no it's been like 4eva since i updated this one, but it's the only 1 that i don't have finished yet..... so cut me some slack ne? okay, after this i don't really have ideas.... scratch that Aku gave me an idea for chappie 6, ideas for chappie 7 r welcomed!! totally, if u have an idea that u think is like way good, then review it to me!!! i'll see what i can do with it and play with it.... so REVIEW it to me.... and all u people who _don't _have an idea, u can still review to tell me how it was, and sry about the abrupt ending it has, but i couldn't think of anything and the ten pages were pretty much filled. btw everything i tell u about my parents in here, is absolutely TRUE. yes, as scary as it is, it's all true......

don't own

Chappie 5

"We're back......" Kitty and Ducky-dono sounded a little depressed.

"We never got to elope......." they sighed together.

"But!!! Now I can go after Aoshi-Sama again!!!" Ducky-dono yelled triumphantly.

"Mou, Ducky-dono!! You've been back for like ten seconds and you're already chasing poor Aoshi!!" Wolfie chided.

"Your point, oh purring dreamer?" she teased. Wolfie blushed and shuffled her feet a little bit.

"I don't know how you could like anyone who says that TOMOE is hot!! That is just wrong!!! She is such a bitch and i just want to chop her into little pieces in a very grosetque scene!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled, taking the long stick she'd beat Shirmpy down with and repeatedly smacking it on the floor.

"ORO?!" Kenshin said.

"Oh, oppsies! I forgot she was your wife. You had really bad tastes!!! She is such a fag!!!!!!! UGH!!!!! I HATE HER!!!!!!!! I LOATHE HER, WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, "I mean, Kaoru on the other hand. That is great taste!! I mean I love the way she gets pissed off and kicks everyone's ass!!! It's the best!!!"

"Ororororo......."

"I think I like this Ducky-dono," Kaoru whispered.

"Ducky!!! I think you should stop before you kill Kenshin!!" Wolfie told her.

"Oppsies again!! I really didn't mean it....... well actually I meant every word, but don't take it personal......"

"Ducky, you're hopeless......." Shorty pointed out.

"But that's why you love me, ne Kitty?"

"But of course!! That and you're good in be-"

"NO MORE CRUDE SEXUAL TERMS!!!!!!!!!" Shorty shouted.

"Hey, where's Kitsune? I thought that she would attack me as soon as I got bac-"

"DUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kitsune yelled, bounding towards her with her arms outstretched.

"KITSUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled louder, her arms also outstretched.

"Oh, brother........." Shorty sighed as the two embraced.

"What's wrong?"

"They are so loud all the time..... I think I should start calling her 'loud mouth.'"

"I heard that!!!!!" Ducky-dono said, smacking her arm.

"What the shuck was that for?!" she asked, smacking her right back.

"For calling me loud!!!!"

"But it's the truth!!"

"I know," she siad.

"Then why the shuck did you hit me?!"

"Because........"

"Okay, you two knock it off," Wolfie told them.

"Stay out of it!!!! You have no place in this little squabble (that sounds like a word that Mr. Jarosz would say..), for you like someone who thinks TOMOE, of all the real hot people out there, IS HOT!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled at her.

"Okay, I'll just sit over here, next to Kenshin....." she sighed in defeat, inching closer to the swordsmen.

"Hey!!! He's mine!!!!!!" Kitty came over.

"NO!!!!!!! All of you are wrong!!!! He's MINE!!!" Kaoru corrected them. Each were tugging on one of his limbs.

"Let go of him!!!" Kaoru shrieked.

"Orororororororo........"

"What about me?!" Wolfie demanded, "I want him too!"

"Not as much as I do!!!!!" Kaoru yelled.

"Have you all forgotten about me?!" Kitty asked.

"Maa, maa ladies....." Kenshin tried to soothe.

"SHUT UP!!!!"

"My, my, if we aren't the rowdy crowd!!" an unfamiliar female's voice called.

"MOM?!" Ducky-dono asked skeptically.

"Hello sweetheart!!" she greeted.

"So this isn't just some cruel joke that my crazy mind came up with?"

"No, you're father's here too. Who are all these people? I know Kitty, Kitsune, Wolfie, Momiji, and Haru (yup, she met u when u helped me outta math when i was, uh, crippled, yes a gimp, haru....) but who are they?" she pointed to the RK cast.

"Oh, put it together mommy!!! I mean, even dad knows," Ducky-dono sighed.

"Oh, god...." he uttered, "These people are from that freaking anime show and books."

"See, I knew that you would figure it out," she smiled.

"So what are they doing here?" and her smile fell.

"I brought them!!" Kitsune covered her ass.

"That's nice, dear," she said.

"Alright, bye-bye now, mom, dad," Ducky-dono bid them.

"Okay, come on honey........" she led him into the bedroom. (kitty; then they went upstairs and did some stuff, wink)

"Ewwwww!! Do they have to do that now?" Ducky-dono asked disgusted.

"Do they do that often?"

"Well, they did do it once while I was home........ and it was really......... akward," she answered. (true story!!!!)

"Yuck!! Really?"

"Unfortunately yes," she sighed, placing her hand on her head.

"Poor Ducky," Wolfie sympathized.

"Uh huh, you wouldn't believe the stuff my parents do, especially my mom with that song, 'Wild Thing'," she said with a shudder.

"And that would be?" Ducky-dono sighed before answering.

"Okay, let us all venture to my bathroom for a second. I was standing there brushing my hair, ne? And she had that song blasting. Notice the doorway and how it has a frame. Well, long story short she stood there dancing, well, provacativly all the while saying, 'Oh, if only I had a pole, B!' Tell me you're as disgusted as I am," Ducky-dono finished.

"Eww!! You're mom is weird, Ducky," Kitsune said.

"You said it. It's even worse when she and my father are together. I know that half of it's fake, and just to freak me out, but...... uh!"

"So?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"Of course you do," Aoshi said. Ducky-dono beamed.

"I'll do anything for you Aoshi-Sama!!!" she said enthusiastically.

"Then tell it," Kaoru said with a sigh.

"Okay. I'll just give a few examples. One, my parents were in the kitchen, my father had just gotten home from work. He had pulled his belt of and had it in his hand. I walked in. They exchanged this look and then..........."

"Yes?"

"And then he smacked her......... dare yare with it and my mother, uh......... she kinda moaned and said, 'Oh, baby, do it again!!' And that is example one of the weirdness," she conclueded.

"Oh, my I'm glad my parents aren't that weird," Shorty said.

"Can't say the same for poor Kitsune, since her dad likes to cos-play as Batman when she's on the phone. Batman, returns!!!!!!!"

"Yep, I remember, I was on the phone with her," Shorty added.

"I don't remember my parents being anything like that....." Kaoru mused.

"No, me neither," Kenshin agreed.

"Damn, Hiko, that's the third time you've beaten me!!" Sano swore.

"Face it rooster, you weren't made for poker," Misao observed.

"Shut it weasel girl!!"

"So, Yahiko-chan, what were you and Hiko doing this whole time?" Kaoru asked, noticing they were back.

"Checking out real chicks. Seeing as no one here really qualifies as a girl," he said with a chuckle. A bokken hit his head and at the same time, a kunai enlodged itself in the back of his head, a pair of hands were strangling him, a shriken connected with his forehead, and someone smacked him.

Okay, bokken belonged to Kaoru, kunai to Misao, strangling hands to Ducky-dono, shriken to Kitsune, and the smack belonging to Shorty. Wolfie and Aku Naraku watched in amusement. Kitty had disappeared, last seen with Soujiro. Haru was hanging on Sano as he played dice with Hiko, listening to Ducky-dono's tales.

"And there's more........" Ducky-dono whispered to herself.

"Nani?" Kaoru asked.

"Nothing!!" she said a little too quickly.

"You lie! There's another story you're not telling," Misao accused.

"Come on! You don't want to hear more perverted stories about........ my parents of all people, do you?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes," Aoshi answered. Again she beamed.

"Anything for you Aoshi-Sama!!!"

"Then get to it."

"You realize that could be taken in many ways, right?" she asked wickedly.

"Hey!! Quit hitting on my Aoshi-Sama and tell the story!!" Misao yelled angrily.

"Right, right," she sighed and started, "Okay, where to start. My grandparents had just come in from Las Vegas for Christmas. My parents gave up their room for them. My room has a bunk bed, a double on the bottom and a twin on top. Well, I was on break so I wasn't going to be until like, I dunno one in the morning, usually later, so they were already in bed by the time I came in. They were usually still awake though, so they thought they'd have a little fun my teasing me. So I crawled into my bed closed my eyes. I was just about to fall asleep when I hear, dun, dun, dun. Shorty you do, you're good at it."

"Dun, dun, dun," she said very professionally.

"Okay, as I was saying, I started hearing noises....... suspicious noises at that. They were...... moaning. I was disgusted. 'Oh, honey....' my mommy moans out. Shit that was the scariest thing I've ever experienced in my whole fraken-"

"Shuckin'" Shorty said.

"Life. Okay, the top bar on my bed makes a whole bunch of loud noises. I started yanking on it to let them know that I was there.

'HELLO?! Stop it!!! Not on my bed!!!' I yelled at them. And ya know what they did? They laughed! The effers laughed at me!!" she whined in conclusion.

"Wow," was all Kaoru had to say.

"Kitty!!! Did you hear that?!" Ducky-dono called.

"Yeah!!! And I feel bad for you!!!" she answered, coming out of the bathroom, Soujiro following.

"What exactly were you two doing in there?" Wolfie asked, suspicious.

"We were playing with Shrimpy's play-doh," she answered. And as if to prove her statement, she pulled out black and pink play-doh.

"PLAY-DOH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE PLAY-DOH!!!!!!!" Kitsune screamed, stealing it from her.

"Well, apparently she likes play-doh," Aku Naraku observed.

"Yes, she does. And while she's distracted......." Haru said, an evil glint in her eye, "Oh, Sano........."

"Haru, Aoshi-Sama is way better than Sano and you know it!" Ducky-dono informed her.

"IS NOT!!!!!!" she argued back.

"AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!"

"SANO!!!!"

"AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!!"

"SANO!!!!!!!!"

"AOSHI-SAMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

"ENOUGH!!!!!!!" Kaoru yelled.

"Jeez, wonder what's got busu so pissed off, they're just yelling like she does," Yahiko said. A bokken connected with his head.

"Shut up, Yahiko-chan!!!!!!"

"Don't call me -CHAN!!!!!!!!"

"Maa, maa," Kenshin tried to soothe.

"Oh, Kenshin, the way you say that is just soooooo sexy," Wolfie told him, leaning on his muscular frame.

"Oh, no you don't!!!!" Kaoru quickly ended her fight with Yahiko.

"YEAH?!?! WELL I STILL SAY AOSHI-SAMA IS SEXIER THAN SANO!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN LOOK AT ALL THAT HAIR!!!!! DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO TANGLE YOUR FINGERS IN IT?!?!" Ducky-dono screamed (as always) at Haru.

"NO, I DON'T!!!!!!!!!! I'D RATHER HAVE SANO!!!! HE'S A MILLION TIMES HOTTER!!!!!!" she argued back.

"Kitty, back me on this one!!!!" Ducky-dono pleaded with her friend.

"I'm gonna haveta agree with Ducky on this one, Cowie," Kitty sided with her.

"Well, I agree with Haru, Sano is way better than Aoshi," Kitsune took Haru's side. A faint blush appeared on Sano's face, seeing as all these girls were arguing over how hot he was. Aoshi remained as emtionless as ever.

"Shorty, come on, you have to take my side," Ducky-dono pleaded.

"Yes, in fact I do. Aoshi-Sama is hotter than Sano," she nodded her head.

"YOU LOSE!!!!!!!!!! AOSHI-SAMA IS SEXIER AND HOTTER!!!!!!! Although, I don't see the difference in the words 'hot' and 'sexy' but........" she added as an after thought.

"Not fair man!!!" Haru said.

"Nah, nah, nah!!!!!!" Ducky-dono rubbed it in her face.

"Okay, Ducky, be nice now," Haru chided.

"Oh, alright," she sighed.

"That's better," Wolfie noticed, still arguing with Kaoru about Kenshin. It seems that Kitty had now joined the little spat.

"Come on! Just because I was busy playing with play-doh, doesn't mean I don't get Kenshin!!!!!" she argued, "I mean, he's soooooo sexy!!!!"

"Wow....." Ducky-dono said.

"Why are you saying 'wow'? I mean, wasn't it you who just said that Aoshi-Sama was sexy?" Misao asked.

"Aa, true enough."

"See, I was right!!!

"I HATE TOMOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed all of a sudden. (as usual)

"Oro!!"

"WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!! NO, I LOATHE HER!!!!!!!! WITH A GREAT PASSION!!!!!!!!!!" she corrected herself.

"Riku thinks that she's hot," Wolfie reminded her.

"Yes, well that kid has problems!!!!! Major problems!!!!! She is not hot!!!!!! She's a bitch!!!!!!! A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled.

"Does that mean you don't like Riku?"

"No! I never said that!!! He's a nice kid and all, but he has PROBLEMS!!!!!!!! As does anyone else who thinks he's hot," she said.

"Oh." was all Wolfie had to say.

"Just because you dream about him," Ducky-dono said slyly, "Doesn't mean we all have to like him. I mean seriously, you were moaning!!! (Aladin!!!!!!!) And purring!!!"

"Hey!! Stop teasing me about it? What about you?" she defended, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment. (or is it embarrassmet? or is it simply your desire is getting out of hand? r u running a fever? the kind of fever that could lead to having children, perhaps?)

"What about me? I don't talk in my sleep, I just snore. So no matter what I dream of Aoshi-Sama doing to me, no one can hear it!" she informed her.

"Yeah huh," she said, disappointed.

"Hey, Shorty, do you remember at Wolfie's party, Phinny-dono was doing Tai Chi and seriously freaking everyone out?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Oh, god yes!! I was right next to her and I was scared!!!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's what I thought........"

"So, what to do now?"

"Dunno."

a/n: again sry for da abrupt ending.... but u can drop a review rite under this writin' okies? i luv this story and if u don't review...... i might just have to discontiue it...... so REVIEW!!!!


	7. Chappie 6! Lies? Tell me lies, tell me s...

A/N: dude, totally been 4eva! i felt really bad so i wrote the whole thing last nite... oh, i have a favor to ask of kitty... i kinda lost ur phone # again... and if u could call me tomorrow, Saturday, around 1, it would be great... or just e-mail me ur phone #... which eva u plz... and not in that way... anyway! here's the next chappie and yes, i apologize for the lack of updates, but as mentioned in other ficcies, i'm absolutly LAZY! anyway, enjoy and don't for get to REVIEW! gracias!

don't own

Chappie 6

"Oh! I know!" Ducky-dono exclaimed suddenly.

"What, Ducky?" Shorty asked. She ignored her and went to her parents door and knocked.

"Mom? Is the lie detector still downstairs?"

"Ummm, I think so," she answered.

"Great!" She ran past the Kenshin-gumi and her friends to the basement, where Megumi was still being torchered.

"Hey! Chikita! Throw me the lie detector!" she yelled.

"Sure B!" Shrimpy tossed her the machine.

"Gracias Chikita!" Ducky-dono bounded back up the stairs and set the machine on the table.

"Oh, this'll be good," she muttered, setting it up.

"What is it?" Kaoru questioned.

"A lie detector," Ducky-dono said simply.

"And?"

"I'm gonna hook someone up and ask them a bunch of questions," she informed her.

"Like who?" Misao asked, interested.

"Aoshi-Sama, of course!"

"Should have known," Kitty shook her head.

"Then I think we should clean up the whole Kenshin thing," Kaoru said.

"That we should," Kenshin nodded, not realizing that he would be the one being hooked up.

"SHUT UP WITH THOSE STUPID PHRASES!" Ducky-dono commanded.

"ORO!"

"Anyway, come on Aoshi-Sama, you're first!" she chimed.

"Kami-Sa-" he started before Ducky-dono yanked him into the chair. She then started to hook him to the machine.

"C'mon Misao-chan! Let's see if there's hope for either of us!" Ducky-dono took her hand.

"Okay!" "Now, Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono started, "Does Misao-chan turn you on?" "No." Ducky-don's head darted to the paper. Straight line.

"Wah! No fair! You're too calm to take this test!" Ducky-dono whined.

"No." "Okay, what pisses you off then, Mr. I'm-So-Calm!" Misao asked.

"You do." "THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Ducky-dono and Misao cried simulaniously.

"The line is straight though," he pointed out.

"That must mean you're lying!" Misao shouted.

"He knows how to cheat! He's too calm for a lie detector test! DAMMIT! NEW PLAN! Unhook him Misao-chan!" Ducky-dono ordered.

When Aoshi-Sama was finally free, he walked as far away from the girls as possible. Then the two crazy girls took Kenshin and hooked him up in Aoshi's place.

"Oro?" he asked.

"Shut up and answer the questions, Himura!" Misao told him, still upset over her Aoshi-sama.

"Oro!" "Hee, hee," Ducky-dono giggled, "Now, do you like Kaoru? As more than a friend that is." "Ummm, ano, uh, eto..." he managed to stutter out a whole bunch of words.

"Your line is going haywire," Ducky-dono informed him calmly.

"No?" he more asked than said.

"You lie!" Ducky-dono yelled in his face.

"Oro? Sessha isn't lying, that he isn't!" he defended nervously trying to regain his composure.

"Your line says otherwise!" Ducky-dono corrected him.

"Oro!"  
"You like Kaoru! You like Kaoru! Kenshin and Kaoru sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ducky-dono yelled while Kenshin and Kaoru blushed bright red.

"Okay, enough Ducky, you're going to embarrass them to death," Shorty heeded.

"What about me!" Wolfie whined, seeing how he was reacting.

"Back off! What about me, Kenshin?" Kitty purred.

"Orororoo... you are both nice girls, that you are, demo..." he stalled.

"Demo?" Ducky-dono urged.

"Demo, Himura?" Misao was right with her.

"Demoit'snotthesameaswithKaoru-dono!" he cried all in one breathe.

"Repeat that, please, Kenshin," Ducky-dono requested.

"Yes, Kenshin... let it all out..." Kitty gave her insentive.

"Oro..." "Too many innuendo's..." Ducky-dono said, grabbing an agenda and putting the newest phrase in.

"Okay! When are we going to put Sano on the machine!" Haru demanded.

"We're not..." Ducky-dono shook her head.

"WHY NOT!" Haru demanded.

"Because she doesn't wanna!" Kitsune supplied.

"And you is supposed to be smart..." Ducky-dono shook her head.

"BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND!" Misao shouted.

"RIGHT!" Ducky-dono answered just as loudly, "Kenshin! Kindly repeat what you said, onegai."

"Oro... Do I have to?"

"Yes..." Aku hissed, "Or you deal with me."

"Oro!"

"She's scary..." Ducky-dono shrank back.

"Damn straight," Kaoru agreed.

"Answer the goddamn question!" Aku ordered Kenshin.

"Oro! H-hai! Sessha will, that he most certainly will!" he cried in fear, "Demo, it's not the same as Kaoru-dono!"

"FINALLY!" Ducky-dono cried in triumph, "He responded!"

"Kenshin..." Kaoru started, "... What do you mean by that?"

"Kaoru-dono, sessha is madly in-"

"We interrupt this ficcie for one important reason. I've just come to realize how sap is starting to get on my nerves. Mainly due to Angelina and all the stupid Phantom of the Opera shit. Tell me: all of you who have seen Tomb Raider I, the bad dude, the really ugly guy with black hair. Did you think he was hot? I sure as hell didn't, but she's obsessed! Anyway, we know return seeing as the sap moment has ended and Kenshin and Kaoru have fled the scene to a place with a lock and a bed. Thank you," Ducky-dono announced, blocking out the moment with one of those cool multi-color screens.

"Alright! Time for my famous serum!" Ducky-dono yelled as soon as she was back, not that she had ever disappeared.

"And that would be?" Misao asked.

"Guess!"  
"I don't feel like guessing, tell us already, dammit," Aku commanded from the shadows. Ducky-dono sweatdropped.

"Uh, okay. It's..." she paused and eyed Aoshi-Sama, "Come with me into the kitchen, Misao, Shorty, Haru, Kitsune, Wolfie, Kitty, and Aku." They all shrugged and followed her.

"Why did we leave Aoshi, Hiko, Sano, Yahiko, and Soujiro out there?" Shorty asked.

"Because, Hiko and Yahiko are preoccupied, Sou-chan disappeared about an hour ago, and Sano and Aoshi-Sama can't hear this," Ducky-dono explained in an exasperated voice.

"Why?" Misao asked, interestedly.

"Do I even want to know, Ducky?" Kitty asked, a tone of wickedness apparent in her voice.

"Is it anything kinky?" Haru asked using her word.

"That word was in Ferrari's Spanish dictionary!" Ducky proclaimed, getting completly off topic.

"Oh yeah! I remember that!" Kitty put in.

"Uh hmmm," Wolfie cleared her throat loudly, putting them all back on task.

"!Si! I shall tell you now..." Ducky-dono began in a misty voice, "TRUTH SERUM!" she yelled.

"Shhhh! This was supposed to be quiet!" Shorty reminded her.

"Oh, right..." she blushed and mumbled something under her breath.

"Alright, now let us return with the tea!" Ducky-dono quickly regained her composure. "What tea?" Misao asked, looking around.

"The tea I am about to make of course!" she replied happily.

"Oh, I knew that," Misao said, looking down at the floor. "Anyway! Wolfie, Aku, you is on annoy duty!" Ducky-dono informed them, "You have to keep Aoshi-Sama and the others away from here long enough for me to create this wonderful concoction, got it?" They both nodded and headed off to complete their mission.

"Ya know what? Scratch that! Haru, Kitsune, you keep Sano busy," Ducky-dono corrected herself, "Shorty, you take Hiko and Yahiko. Kitty, take Soujiro. Feel free to play play-doh."

"Right," they said simultaniously. (hee, hee. learned word that from Mrs. Bruno... she is like the most awsome person, i have EVER met)

"Now, Misao, we shall be staying here to take care of the tea, ne?"

"Understood!" she saluted Ducky-dono in understanding.

"Hey! Sano!" Kitsune called.

"H-hai?" he turned towards the two loud girls. (tho, no where near as loud as me! ducky-dono)

"Do you want to talk with us?" they asked together, figuring it was better to work as one during this mission.

"Uh... sure," he agreed hesitantly. (hey, u never no wat those two could do... they is very dangerous... and wicked... don't even let me get into kitty, u just don't want to hear about it)

"Great!" "Hiko-sama!" Shorty called in a sweet voice, pulling sake out from no where. (cuz, seriously, i don't have sake in my house... and if i did... hiko wouldn't have it. i would)

"Sake?" he asked, his eyes straying to the jug she held.

"Hai, and it's just for you!" she answered with a smile.

"Hey! What about me you ugly girl!" Yahiko demanded. Shorty winced.

"I'll pretend you didn't say that Yahiko-chan and continue talking to Hiko-sama," she replied.

"That still doesn't answer my question!" "What the shuck is your problem! You are SO Hewit!" she screamed in his face, thrusting (ha! thrusting, kitty!) the jug of sake at Hiko.

"MY problem! You have problems! Like serious ones! I think you're a skitso!" he accused.

"Why does everyone think that! I am NOT a SKITSO!" she screamed at him.

In the kitchen.

Ducky-dono sighed, "This won't end well... he called her a skitso..."

"What's so bad about that?"

"She hates being called that. You see at a party we were talking about skitsophrenics, ne? I said to them:

'You people's are all skitso's and I'm just a figment of your imaginations!' and then Cassidy said:

'I think Shorty's the only REAL skitso here...' and she's hated being called that every since..." Ducky-dono explained.

"Oh, I understand."

Back in the living room...

"Hey Aoshi-Sama!" Wolfie called.

"Aa."

"What's your favorite color?" she asked, coming up next to him.

"..."  
"Come on! I bet it's purple! You were that sexy purple thing underneath your trench coat..." she said.

Kitchen:

"TRENCH-COAT-MAN!" Ducky-dono yelled at the top of her lungs. (only a few people r gonna get that...)

Back to the living room:

"Purple is Ducky-dono's favorite color, ya know," Wolfie pointed out.

"Aa."

"Don't you say more than that word? Or does your brain compacity not hold the ability to speak more than that!" Aku demanded in a low and dangerous voice. Even Aoshi had to shudder at the ki she gave off. Pure evil. There was no good to it.

"Ah..."

"Sounds like the same word," she hissed.

"Um..."

"More than two letters, you dipshit!" she spat.

"Okay!"

"Whoop de do! You spoke two more letters than normal! Let's all celebrate! I don't see how Ducky-dono could like an Ice block like you!" she said, her anger rising. But she wasn't mad. No, not yet. Just irritated. Trust me, you would know if she was pissed.

"Okay! I give in! Purple IS my favorite color! It just matches so nicely with everything else!" he confessed.

Kitchen:

"Maybe we won't need the truth serum," Ducky-dono mused, "I mean, if Aku were to just keep bullying him into answering... nah, this'll be easier than watch him piss his pants."

"Right!"

"It's ready, shall we? I really don't like the way she is pushing him around. It really isn't fair. Now, before he passes out let us force him to consume this evil concoction which shall be used to force a confession of love out of him!" Ducky-dono laughed evilly, causing all heads in the living room to look her way. She then coughed.

"Uh huh, um, yeah-cough, cough-" she said, taking the tea to Aoshi with Misao.

"Here ya go, Aoshi-Sama!" Misao handed it to him, "It's like we never even left the Aoiya, ne?"

"Aa." Aku shot him a glare, "I mean, yes, it seems like we never left." he corrected.

"Wow," Misao said in astonishment, "I don't think he's ever said something that extensive to me."

"How is the tea, Aoshi-Sama?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Good."

"Shorty! Quit beating up Yahiko and come watch! Same goes for you, Haru, Kitty, Kitsune!" she called.

"Oh, and me and Soujiro were having fun with the play-doh..." Kitty said, coming over.

"I... I feel a little dizzy," Aoshi confessed.

"Aoshi-Sama! How do you feel about me! Misao!" Misao shouted.

"Ai... Aishiteru..." he whispered.

"And me!" Ducky-dono demanded.

"You are rather annoying... but your devotion is admirable," he told her.

"Yatta! He called me admirable!" Ducky-dono danced in pure happiness.

"That's not the same as love, ya know," Shorty pointed out.

"Nah!" she stuck out her tongue, "Don't dampen my mood!" "Just telling the truth," she said.

"Who cares! He called me admirable!"

"Oh, Aoshi-Sama! Aishiteru!" Misao cried, flinging herself at him. If he were the rurouni, which was currently busy, he would be reeling off an endless string of 'orororororo's.'

"Misao," he breathed.

"We interrupt this for yet another moment of sap and more on my boring life and how Angelina pisses me off sometimes. Not always. Just sometimes. Like I was saying before, she's obsessed with the guy! She goes on the computer all day and stares at him, I brought this up to her. And ya know what she said to me!

'Just shut up, I bet you do the same thing with your stupidAoshi-Sama! (yes... she called him stupid, that wench...)' and I was all,

'Actually I don't. I have a google image search of him saved in my favorite's, which I only go into when I want a new backround on my computer.' and she was all,

'Suuuuuuuurrrrrreeee ya do. You know what Ducky, you need to get over yourself.'

'D... did you just tell me to get over myself?'

'Yes.' What a bitch! I am SO not egotistical! I asked like fifty people! They don't think that I love myself! I mean it's not like I go around saying, 'I love me!' I really go around saying, 'I love Aoshi-Sama!' okay, back to the ficcie, I do believe you've heard enough about my pitiful life...

"So where did Aoshi and Misao disappear to?" Shorty asked.

"Dunno..." Ducky-dono said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I'm not egotistical, am I?" Ducky-dono asked.

"What! What kind of shucked up question is that!" "Just answer please..." "No... You are obessessed with Aoshi-Sama, but no, you are SO not egotistical.

"You make me feel so much better!" she cried, throwing her arms around the poor girl.

"Don't I get a hug?" Kitty whined.

"But of course!"

And this is where this chappie ends... it doesn't go on and on my friends... for this is where my chappie ends... and where I apologize for the wait...


	8. Chappie 7! Meet Riku! and an update at l...

a/n: hey, been a VERY long time, hasn't it? i no, i no, u all wanna beat me over the head with a big stick, ne? well my computer is an ass and i had to rite this on the one in my living room and its like 2 pages shorter than the other chappies, but i'm hoping to update more often...

disclaimer: don't own

message: don't forget to review, they make me very happy...

Chappie 7

"Hola! Should we do a recap, seeing as it's been so long?" Ducky-dono asked her crowd.

"Nah, they can look in the last chappies if they want a recap," Kaoru said.

"Point taken. This chappie: Riku arrives," Ducky-dono informed happily.

"Who's Riku?" Kenshin asked.

"The one Wolfie dreamed about," Ducky-dono said smugly, giggling.

"OooOOooo! And that cleared soooo much up!" Kaoru told her sarcastically.

"Didn't it though?" Ducky-dono answered triumphantly.

"Wait! Riku is coming here?" Kitsune asked.

"Yeppers!" she replied.

"Why is she so happy?" Kaoru asked, referring to Kitsune.

"Riku's her boyfriend!" Shorty supplied.

"I see..." Kenshin mumbled, thinking.

"He should be here any second..." Ducky-dono murmured, looking out the newly repaired window, "He won't be crashing in the way that Kitsune did, though," she mused.

"I suppose not, although he acts like an ass, he's not completely lost his marbles... he's not quite as crazy as I am..." Kitsune agreed.

"You'd know... he's your boyfriend," Shorty rolled her eyes at her close friend.

"Yeah, I would... Red Bull anyone? IN the can of course, because I can't drink it out of the can..." Kitsune offered holding up some cans.

"I want some!" Shorty yelled, always enjoying the constant sugar rush.

"I won't miss a chance to get sugar high and act like a total retard!" Kitty said, taking a can for herself, "AND I have smarties!" (fyi: smarties is spelled rite and it's an awesome and pure sugar candy that me and kitty love...)

"Put them in my room! We'll have fun when it's just the two of us..." Ducky-dono said.

"Ohh! I can't wait..." Kitty purred. (get it, purred? lol... 4 me at least)

"Whoops! I gotta iron my shoelaces!" Kitsune let out, setting her empty canon the counter.

"Me too!" Shorty followed her into the bathroom.

"Me three!" Ducky-dono also followed.

"And me!" a new, male voice said. They all went into the bathroom. And a special guest appearance by Angelina and Daylynn for this segment.

"Did they really go in there?" Angelina asked, looking towards the closed door and lit light.

"I guess they did..." Daylynn said. Truthfully? They were hiding right beside the bathroom, waiting for someone to notice them.

"Wow... you actually thought that we went to the bathroom together?" the male voice asked.

"Riku! I knew you were the fourth anonymous person to pretend go into the bathroom with us!" Ducky-dono exclaimed.

"Who else would it be? And why am I the only guy here?"

"You're not! Sano, Aoshi, Hiko, Kenshin, Soujiro, and Yahiko are all here!" Shorty corrected him.

"You!" Auk hissed, "What is your problem? Hmmm?"

"What's yours, hmmm?" he mocked.

"Nothing..." they both started laughing.

"Wow... never seen such tads in my whole life," Shorty said, looking away, going to make conversation with Hiko and Kitsune.

"Well, she's right about that one!" Ducky-dono said, smiling widely.

"AOSHI-SAMA!" Misao bounded out of the bedroom after her lover.

"AOSHI-SAMA!" Ducky-dono joined in, chasing the newly freed man.

"HELP ME!" he screamed, running way, clutching at his clothing.

"SHORTY! HOLD HIM DOWN!" Ducky-dono shouted her orders.

"Hey, what is all the fuss?" Kenshin asked, looking up from a game of Shogi with Sano.

"AOSHI-SAMA'S GETTING AWAY!" both girls called simultaneously.

"Oh," Kenshin looked back down.

"This is kinda boring," Kaoru pointed out to Haru who was lazing about.

"Yeah... we should do something... something exciting! Like going to Taco Bell and meeting Gidget! Who not only enjoys Taco bell, but bowling and frozen yogurt!" she responded.

"Hey! I really like frozen yogurt!" Shorty interjected.

"Let's do something!" Misao whined, attaching herself to Aoshi's arm.

"What should we do?" Kenshin asked, easily beating Sano.

"Dunno... But I know that this place can get pretty boring... maybe we should do something fun?" Ducky-dono said, "While wearing my awesome new shirt!" She suddenly pulled out a black t-shirt that said 'quack' on the front in white lettering. She flipped it over and it said 'Ducky-dono' on the back in alternating red and white lettering. And on the sleeve there was a little yellow duck.

"Oh! I have one of those!" Kitty and Haru called whipping out their own shirts. They were very similar, but Kitty's said 'meow' on the front and 'kitty-chan' on the back with a cat on the sleeve. Haru's had the word 'moo' on the front, 'cowie-dono' on the back, and had a cow on the sleeve.

"We should go bowling! Moonlight bowling at the crappy lanes at Frontier lanes!" Ducky-dono exclaimed, pulling her shirt on.

"For sure! Maybe the kid who stole my little green ball gave it back!" Kitty exclaimed happily.

"That would be nice, but even if they didn't you could always use the pink one," Ducky-dono assured her.

"Whoo hoo!"

"I like bowling!" Kitsune exclaimed happily.

"Just don't get the pretty rainbow ball with holes that are way to small for your fingers," Shorty advised her.

"But it's sooooo pretty!" Kitsune whined.

"But the holes are to tiny..."

"Let's go already, I'm sick of standing around," Riku said.

"We're going, idiot!" Aku answered, feeling more than a little pissed off at him.

"Right," Wolfie stepped in between the two to prevent a fight.

"So which lanes are we going to?" Haru asked.

"The crappy lanes of Frontier Lanes, of course! Did I already say that?" Ducky-dono asked herself.

"Sessha's never heard of bowling, that he hasn't," Kenshin admitted.

"I'll help you Kenshin," Kaoru said, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Sessha..."

"I'LL HELP YOU KENSHIN! I'M GOOD AT BOWLING!" Kitty screamed, latching onto his arm.

"No you won't!" Kaoru argued.

"I wanna help him!" Wolfie joined the fray.

"I guess I'LL help Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono said, moseying over to him.

"How about we both help him?" Misao suggested as she came over.

"Works for me," Ducky-dono said, shrugging.

"Psh, sounds like a stupid game if you ask me," Yahiko said, rolling his eyes. Hiko nodded in agreement.

"No one said you had to come," Kaoru pointed out, bashing each of them over the head.

"I thought we were leaving?" Riku said.

"We are! Hey, we can walk you know! It's not far from my house," Ducky-dono remembered.

"Okay!" They all agreed.

"Wait!" Haru stopped suddenly.

"What?"

"Sano's not here!" Haru and Kitsune said simultaneously.

"Oh, then we should go get him! Oh! And Sou-chan!" Ducky-dono said, remembering the cute little boy that she adored. But not as much as Aoshi-Sama.

"Right! Operation: Rescue Sou-chan and Sano, commence mission," Kitsune said, slipping into her cos-play once more.

"Let her do it. She likes to play as a ninja," Shorty informed them.

"Yeah," Ducky-dono reinforced the statement.

"Come on!" Riku said impatiently.

"Relax, we can't leave without them!"

"Can't we though?"

"NO!"

Kitsune emerged, still crouched in a stealth like position as Sano and Soujiro followed her out. She glanced, left, then right, making sure that nothing would attack her from either side of the porch. Sano and Soujiro stared at her with curious expressions.

"Oro?" Kenshin let out as soon as she started humming the 'Mission Complete' song from Final Fantasy X-2.

"Okay, no more sugar for her today," Ducky-dono said.

"Did you have a Red Bull or something?" Shorty asked.

"Yep! Two!"

It was going to be a long bowling match.


	9. Chappie 8! A View To A Kill and lots of ...

**A/N:**

**this comes as an apology for Genki and Ice... that it does**

**don't own rk, what u gonna do about it?**

**Chappie 8**

"Look! It's the crappy lanes!" Ducky-dono exclaimed.

"I know, it's almost as crappy as your personality," Riku responded, smirking.

"That wasn't nice!" she answered, smacking him.

"Stop hitting on me," he stuck his tongue out.

"Ugh! You're such a jack ass!" she spat.

"So? You like to jack asses," he rubbed in her face.

"I... you sicko! I do NOT!"

"Only mine, ne Ducky?" Kitty asked, purring.

"Ororororo..." Kenshin let out, not believing the conversation at hand.

"Get used to it," Battousai muttered.

"Hey! My little green ball is here!" Kitty exclaimed happily, taking her ball and rubbing her cheek against it.

"Ah... so it is. What about you Kitsune? Is your rainbow ball here?" Ducky turned to her friend who was conversing with Sano and Haru.

"Yeah! Awesome! Now I just have to remember not to get my fingers stuck!" she answered, smiling widely as she held her ball up.

"Oh! I'm gonna Willis Magahee bowl!" Ducky said, grabbing HER blue ball, "What you thought I'd use the shit here?"

"Oro..."

"Come on Kenshin! Let's get balls!" Kaoru said pointing to the racks.

"Hahahaha! Balls! Racks!" Kitty was rolling on the floor, thinking of all the innuendo's that a bowling alley offered.

"Come on... not til tonight, okay?" Ducky smiled.

"Yeah, cuz you're on the top..." Haru reminded her.

"Cuz you're not cumbersome, right Haru?" Ducky smiled slyly.

"Right... not fat."

"NO! Not clumsy!"

"Fat!"

"Clumsy! Cuz Mrs. Bruno said so! And she rox!" Ducky argued.

"Grrr!"

"Settle down ladies," Sano said, casually picking up a ball.

"Hey! You know what this alley needs?" Ducky said randomly.

"What?"

"DURAN DURAN!" she screamed, running to the desk where Gerry was.

"Hey! I like Duran Duran!" Kitsune agreed.

"Gerry... could you please give us ballistic bowling... with my awesome Duran Duran CD?" she asked sweetly.

"Sure."

"Great! Come on Aoshi-Sama! Let's dance! Cuz the 'Union of the Snake' is on the climb!" Ducky grabbed Aoshi and swung him around.

"Wait for me!" Misao cried, joining them. (whoa... three some, kitty, wanna join?)

"Sano!" Kitsune and Haru yelled simultaneously, "Let's dance!" So he accepted both girls offers.

"Fine... Soujiro, will you bowl with me?" Kitty asked sweetly, still rubbing her little six pound green ball.

"Of course, Kitty-san," he smiled his never ending smile as he walked over to the lane with her.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered, "Dance with me."

"Hey Wolfie, in for a match?" Aku asked, noticing all the couples, er, three somes around her. It sickened her to no end.

"Sure," Wolfie nodded, also watching them.

Ten minutes later...

"Okay! I'm sick of dancing! Time to kick ass, right Riku?" Ducky said, walking over to the four people bowling, "Besides this is one of my favorite songs. A View To A Kill, Duran Duran at it's finest."

"You know... I noticed something," he said, "This is the RK cast, so where's Tomoe?"

Dead silence. Until...

"YOU DISGUST ME!" Ducky screamed, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! EWWWWW!"

"ORORORORORO!"

"Oh no..." Shorty said, recognizing the tantrum, "Duck, literally, and cover... it's the 'I hate Tomoe so much don't mention her or I'll kill you' rampage."

"ORO!"

"DIE!" Ducky borrowed Misao's kunai and threw them at Riku's head, "YOU'RE SO BLOODY LUCKY YOU'RE A FUCKING DEMON, OR ELSE YOU WOULDN'T GET UP!"

"Dammit! I just wanted to know! I mean, she's hot!" he defended. (wrong defense)

"AHHHH! DIE! AGAIN! DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING HURT YOU!"

"No, I don't want you to fuck me."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! SHE IS NOT HOT! HAD THIS DISCUSSION AGAIN! UGLY BITCH! SHE'S AN UGLY BITCH!" Ducky continued to thrust (not that way kitty...) kunai at his head.

"Poor Riku... he should have just not said anything... then again, he likes to antagonize her," Kitsune said, shaking her head.

"That he does," Kenshin agreed.

"Tell me about it..." Shorty murmured, going to find Aoshi while she had her chance... seeing as Ducky was a wee bit preoccupied.

"I won! I won!" Kitty screamed, looking at the scores.

"She must have cheated," Aku hissed.

"Calm down... oooohh! Look! Ducky's killing Riku, wanna help?" Wolfie suggested.

"Boy do I ever!" she smiled evilly, withdrawing a silver gun.

"I knew you would."

"Bastard!" Aku yelled, pulling the trigger, "Too bad he's a demon," she shook her head as he got up after the hit.

"I know!" Ducky agreed, "I've killed him fifteen times!"

"Maa, maa... we should all just calm down, that we should!" Kenshin tried to make everyone settle down.

"Shut up Kenshin! Don't you know? This a chance to bash some skulls in with my bokken!" Kaoru smiled, revealing the devilishly evil side.

"Oro..."

"Give it up, man, she's a woman on a mission..." Sano shook his head.

"Sano," Haru cooed, "Now that Kitsune is gone..."

"Kenshin! The word!"

"Oro!"

"Urm..." Sano said as Haru lost control and completely overtook the situation.

"Oh! I wanna help!" Kitty said, rushing over, seeing smut.

"No way, he's mine!"

"DIE BASTARD!" Ducky's enraged scream interrupted them.

"Dammit, he's not going down!" Aku yelled, firing the pistol several times more.

"He's a demon, what do you want?" Wolfie shrugged as she too pulled out a gun along with a katana.

"That's it! Give me the fucking katana! He's dead!" Ducky said, swiping Wolfie's katana.

"Oh boy," Shorty sighed, walking over to Kitsune where they had a civilized conversation. Well as civilized as the two of them put together could be. But I'm sure someone heard the words, 'It's a microwave! Didn't Alexander Bell invent that?'

"Right..." Soujiro frowned. Pause, rewind, play. He frowned. OH MY GOD! HE FROWNED.

"I don't think anyone is bowling..." he sweatdropped watching the chaos in front of him.

Ducky, Wolfie, Aku, and Kaoru were all trying to kill Riku.

Check.

Kitty and Haru were trying to have their way with Sano.

Check.

Misao and Aoshi had disappeared to god only knows where.

Check.

Kenshin was watching and going back and forth from both parties in amazement, many 'oro's' escaping his mouth.

Check.

Kitsune and Shorty were talking about microwaves and their inventors, lots of giggling.

Check.

Soujiro was standing bewildered actually frowning.

Check.

We forgot all about Hiko and Yahiko at the house.

Check.

And that my friends is what was going on in the bowling alley at the time, all the while to the wonderful music of Duran Duran. So much for a bowling trip...

**A/N:**

so? not bad for being written in about ten minutes, ne? not long, but not short. hope it's enough to satisfy needs. Oh, and flames not bother me... so for u people who read eight chappies and flame... i laugh at u. i'm a cold hearted bitch... for all of u who didn't no that... don't forget to review, good or bad, cuz personally, flames r funny to read... especially when ur a ferret named gergina... or whatever the hell it is... lol! but i'm a ferret! ok, so that's an oxymoron... oh, well, REVIEW!


	10. Chappie 9! Don't Do Me Like That!

Chappie 9

Quite obviously, the match was over. Let's face it; people were arguing everywhere, a violent match of 'I'm-Right-You're-Wrong-Want-Me-To-Prove-It-To-You' and Duran Duran music playing in the back round.

"Okay! OKAY!" Shorty screamed, trying to break up the violence.

"Wow…" Ducky stopped beating up Riku to stare at her in astonishment, "You're almost as loud as me…."

"Is that even possible?" Misao and Aoshi suddenly reappeared.

"Hey, where were you guys?" Kaoru asked, a frown appearing on her face.

"Us? We were requesting a song!" Misao smiled, bouncing up and down at her Aoshi-Samoa's side.

"Really? What song de gozaru yo?" Kenshin asked.

"Cold As Ice!" the young girl answered. (that song be Foreigner…. That it is…. They're coming to Artpark! Can't wait!)

"Oh, but of course!" Haru agreed, coming up behind them all with Sano and Kitsune following.

"Hey! Are you calling Aoshi-Sama cold?" Ducky demanded.

"No! Not all," Kaoru put her hands up in defense.

"Yes, because it's so untrue," Kitty said sarcastically, "Even though he's definitely hotter than Sano."

"No," Haru shook her head, "He's not."

"Yeah, I have to agree with Haru, Sano's hotter than Aoshi," Kitsune said.

"I know we've had this argument before, and I do believe that the results were that Aoshi was much, much, much hotter than Sano, ne Kitty?" Ducky asked, turning to her.

"I think you're right," Misao put in.

"Your vote doesn't count. You're as obsessed as Ducky is!" Haru pointed out.

"Riiiiight," Shorty said, shaking her head.

"Okay! Aoshi has no real importance in that series!" Riku said unwisely.

"I've already been through this with you! He was in about half of the books!" Ducky defended.

"Not really…. He doesn't have any real role," Riku said, looking bored.

"Another reason for pain?" Ducky glared at him, "You know I will."

"Whatever… I'm just stating facts."

"THOSE ARE NOT FACTS!"

"I agree," Aoshi spoke up, "I have a very important role within the story line of Rurouni Kenshin."

"Oh my god…" Ducky breathed, "Aoshi-Sama… did you just… agree… with me?"

"Hai."

Ducky fainted, "Oh… bliss!" was all she uttered as she fell.

"Okay, so… Ice Boy, tell me, how are you important to the story?" Riku asked.

"Easy. Who else would girls drool over without me?"

"Oh! That is such a sensible answer!" Misao exclaimed.

"Here we go…" Shorty sighed, walking over to Kitsune where she and Haru were still arguing with Kitty about who was hotter.

"Okay, that logic makes perfect sense to me," Ducky said, recovering, "I think that this bowling thing is all done. Hey!"

"What? You didn't finish your thought," Riku pointed out.

"I was about to, but you interrupted, stupid! I was gonna say that we should all go do karaoke at Tin Pan Alley!" she suggested.

"That's a great idea, Ducky!" Kitsune yelled, jumping in the air in glee.

"Then it's settled! Karaoke time!" Ducky said happily.

And Then…..

"What song should we do?" Kitty asked, going through the songs.

"I KNOW!" Ducky screamed, "FRECKLES!"

"What else?" Shorty asked, as she took one of the mics.

"She's right… and now I'm gonna learn the words!" Kitty said happily.

"What's 'Freckles'?" Kenshin wondered.

"Your theme song!" the girls all exclaimed exasperated.

"Really… how dumb do you have to be not to know that?" Aku asked.

"Honto ni," Wolfie added.

"I knew that," Sano said, looking at Kenshin.

"Mou, me too, Kenshin. What's your problem?" Kaoru said, turning towards him.

"I knew that!" Misao yelled.

"I did as well, Battousai," Aoshi put in.

"Wow…." Ducky said, "It's a landslide."

"Oh, I knew that!" Soujiro looked up from Kitty and their Play-Doh.

"Mou, Kenshin! You're the only one!" Kaoru scolded him.

"Wow! Kenshin's really stupid!" Kitsune deduced.

"You're soooo smart, Kitsune!" Haru said sarcastically, "You want a girl with brains, ne Sano?"

"Ummm," he uttered nervously.

"You don't have to answer that," Ducky saved him.

"Yes he does!" Haru argued.

"NO," Kitsune interjected, "He doesn't."

"Oh, boy…." Ducky decided it was time to break it up before they could get into a… cat, er cow and fox fight, "That's enough! He doesn't have to answer because _I_ say so."

"B-but!"

"Whose ass?" Riku asked, coming over.

"No ones, stupid," Ducky sneered, "Okay, 'Freckles' time!"

"You bet! Oh, me, Digiko (Shorty) and Ducky first!" Kitsune screamed.

"Right-o," Ducky answered, stepping onto the little stage and grabbing a mic. Shorty and Kitsune followed suit.

"Ready?" Shorty asked, looking at them.

"You know it!" Kitsune answered while Ducky nodded her head.

"Then let's go!" Shorty encouraged.

"I brush against the freckles that I hate it so and I heave a little sigh for you! It's heavy, the love that I would share with you, then it dissolves like it was just a sugar cube! Now the little pain sittin' in my heart has shrunk in a bit, but it really doesn't hurt me now! Those silly horoscope signs, guess I can't trust them after all! If we could get further away, ooooo, I wonder what it would be like, yeah! I'd be so happy inside my heart! All the memories I have are beautiful in my mind, but they don't feed the hunger deep inside my soul! And tonight, I thought that I'd be just sitting in my sorrow! And I must wonder now: What did it really mean to you? I just can't see it anymore! I just can't see it anymore! Whoa-o-o-o-o!" they sang in unison, a few giggles injected within the song.

Silence met their ears when they had finished.

"Um," Ducky said, looking around.

"What a weird song," someone on the side commented.

"WHAT?" Ducky screamed, "IT'S AN EXCELLENT SONG!"

"I-I didn't mean to offend you or anything… it was just interesting!" she stammered.

"Oh," Ducky calmed down.

"Nice performance ladies," Soujiro congratulated.

"No! Sou-chan! You have to say you love MY performance!" Kitty whined even though she hadn't even performed.

"Umm, you were good," he amended, his smile still in place.

"Goody!" she cried in excitement.

"Now what?" Kitsune asked, looking through the book.

"Hmmm," Ducky looked thoughtful.

"Why don't we do…." she paused, "Tactics!"

"NO! That song is weird!" Shorty protested at once.

"Fine, fine, fine!" Ducky eased up.

"Any requests?"

"Don't do me like that!" Kitty cried, looking at both Ducky and Haru.

They all stared.

"What! It's a song! By Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers!" she defended. (good song)

"I knew that," said Ducky and Kitsune simultaneously.

"Of course you knew that! You both like Eighties music!" Kitty smiled.

"Okay, so should we do it?"

"Let's do a Duran Duran song!" Ducky proposed.

"Which one?" Shorty asked.

"Why the one I've had stuck in my head all day! Only, Aoshi-Sama has to sing with me!"

"No."

"What was that?" Aku challenged.

"Um, yes?"

"That's what I thought," she said glaring at him.

"Oro…. What power she has over him…"

"Actually, Kaoru has it over you too, if you think about it," Sano said thoughtfully.

"That was sooo smart of you to say, Sano!" Haru gushed.

"And true!" Kitsune added.

"They're both right," Ducky nodded. "It's the power of intimidation."

"Oh," Kaoru said in understanding, "I get it."

"Now, are we gonna do this or not?"

"Sure! Aoshi, you get up here," Shorty said, pointing to the empty stage space next to her.

"Oh…" he looked uneasy.

"Do it!" Aku hissed. Wolfie giggled behind her hand watching the usually stoic man be ordered around by a girl.

"Wow, you're so bossy," Riku said.

"Wanna make something of it?" she asked, giving him a death glare.

"Now, now children," Ducky interrupted, pinching Riku's arm.

"Ouch! Dammit, Ducky!" he yelled.

"That's what you get. Now! Time for The Reflex! Ah, what a game," she said in bliss.

"The Reflex? What the hell?" Riku said, looking skeptical.

"You'll find out, you'll find out….."

A/N:

And so will you! Until next time! Don't forget to drop a review!


	11. Chappie 11: The Reflex and I Like The

**Chappie 10: The Relfex... and I Like The Way You Do Me**

"Let's do The Reflex!" Ducky said again.

"Go," Aku hissed to Aoshi.

"I'm going!" he cried in fear.

"Yatta! Aoshi-Sama's gonna sing with me!" Ducky squealed in delight.

"I have a problem," Aoshi stated calmly.

"Is it something _I_ can fix, Aoshi-Sama?" she asked innocently.

"ORORORO!"

"What!" Ducky asked, turning around to look at the rurouni, "Oh." He was being attacked by both Kaoru and Wolfie again.

"Ahem," Aoshi interrupted her staring.

"Oh, yes, Aoshi-Sama?" she asked.

"I need the words to this 'song' we're going to sing…." he requested.

"I have them!" Kitsune answered running over with a piece of paper.

"Of course she does," he muttered vehemently.

"What was that?" Aku demanded.

"Nothing!"

"That's what I thought you said." She smiled triumphantly. "Now, get those lyrics."

"Right here!" Kitsune provided.

"Great! Time to sing!" Ducky said.

"Oh, boy…" Kaoru said, burying her face in her hands.

"Let's start, let's start!" Misao urged.

You've gone too far this time but

I'm dancing on the valentine  
I tell you somebody's fooling around

With my chances on the danger line  
I'll cross that bridge when I find it

Another day to make my stand oh-woah  
High time is no time for deciding

If I should find a helping hand oh-whoa

Why don't you use it

Try not to bruise it

Buy time don't lose it  
Why don't you use it

Try not to bruise it

Buy time don't lose it

The reflex is a lonely child

Just waiting by the park  
The reflex is in charge

Of finding a treasure in the dark  
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre  
Every little thing the reflex does

Laves you answered with a question mark

I'm on a ride and I wanna get off

Bt they won't slow down the roundabout  
I sold the Renoir and the TV set

Don't wanna be around when this gets out  
So why don't you use it

try not to bruise it

buy time don't lose it  
Why don't you use it

try not to bruise it

buy time don't lose it

The reflex is a lonely child

he's waiting in the park  
The reflex is in charge

of finding a treasure in the dark  
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre  
Every little thing the reflex does

leaves you answered with a question mark

So why don't you use it

try not to bruise it

buy time don't lose it  
Why don't you use it

try not to bruise it

buy time don't lose it

The reflex is a lonely child

just waiting by the park  
The reflex is in charge

of finding treasure in the dark  
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre  
Every little thing the reflex does

leaves me answered with a question mark

Oh the reflex what a game

he's hiding all the cards  
The reflex is in charge

of finding a treasure in the dark  
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre  
Every little thing the reflex does

leaves you answered with a question mark

"Again, again!" Kitsune and Shorty yelled.

"No, no, no!"

"I think Aoshi-Sama is right. We should do a new song…" Ducky suggested.

"Then what song should we do…?" Kitsune asked.

"Hmmm…." Ducky started thinking.

"That can't be good," Kaoru said.

"What can't be good?"

"She's _thinking_. That's what. When ever she starts thinking, things go wrong!" Kaoru pointed out.

"You know, she's right," Kitty said. "But usually, she thinks dirty, kinky things about me… Which is _very _good…" She winked.

"Not now, Kitty, we have to pick a song…."

"I already told you, 'Don't Do Me Like That!'"

"Hey, I thought you liked the way I did-"

"I think she meant the song," Aoshi said, getting increasingly irritated by all the crude sex jokes.

"Oh."

"I did mean the song, and I _do _like the way you do-"

"Alright!" Kaoru said, dragging Kenshin over. "We all know how much you love to do those interesting things, but it has nothing to do with the song choice!"

"Kaoru's embarrassed!" Kitsune danced around her along with Shorty, making fun of her.

"ORORORO! Sessha thinks that you should stop picking on Kaoru-dono that you should!" Kenshin said.

"But she's such a crybaby…"

"Not helping with a song choice!"

"I hope it's shorter than the last one…" Aoshi mumbled.

"Maybe… we shouldn't do karaoke any more," Misao said.

"One more song, please?"

"Okay, one… then we should definitely find something else to do…" Kaoru said reasonably.

"I'm hungry!" Misao whined.

"Okay, song, then food?" Sano asked, a clingy Haru holding on to his arm.

"Yeah, as long as you have money to pay for you food!" Ducky smiled at him. They stared. "Hey, I'm no where near rich!"

"Then about that song…"

A/N: requests anyone? (momiji I wanna hear from u on this subject!) if u have a song u think the gang should sing, tell me the name and artist (if u have it, if not it's ok, I'll find it) via review, k? hope to hear lots of good things from u!


	12. Chapter 12! Playstation and Ballroom Bli

don't own nothin' except my bunny bunch!

**Chappie 11**: Playstaion and Ballroom Blitzing

"I have a song!" Kitty yelled, "Emmy learned it at Jesus camp!"

"I forgot she went to camp. She's going back, too…" Ducky sounded disappointed.

"Who's Emmy-dono?" Kenshin asked.

"Really, we learn about all these people and we have no idea who they are," Kaoru added.

"How about we just sing?"

"Kitty should do it," Kitsune suggested. "ELECTRICAL TAPE ROCKS!"

"That was random," Aoshi commented.

"I wanna sing, I wanna sing! Ducky and Haru, sing with me!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Ducky agreed.

"They're always so noisy," Aoshi said.

"Are you complaining about something?" Aku demanded.

"No!"

"Good."

"You sure have him on a leash," Wolfie observed.

"AOSHI-SAMA IS MINE!" Ducky and Misao yelled at the same time. They looked at each other for a moment before correcting their statement.

"OURS!"

"Time to sing!" Ducky announced, taking the words from Kitty's review and holding it in front of her face. (a/n: kitty, I laughed so hard when I read this)

"Here we go!" Kitty warned.Beaver 1,beaver all,  
Let's all do the beaver song!  
(make beaver noises)  
Beaver 2,beaver 3,  
Let's all climb the beaver tree!  
(make beaver noises)  
Beaver 4,beaver 5,  
Let's all do the beaver jive!  
(make beaver noises)  
Beaver 6,beaver 7,  
Let's fly up to beaver heaven!  
(make beaver noises)  
Beaver 8,beaver 9,  
STOP! It's beaver in' time!  
(make beaver noises)"That was relatively harmless," Aoshi said. He was the only one not laughing.

"You," Ducky pointed, breathless in laughter, "How… how… not… dying… of… sooo… funny…."

"Breathe Ducky, breathe!" Kitty commanded, still giggling herself.

"I am…" she promised.

"Kitty… we have to thank Emmy for that song…." Haru said.

"That was hilarious!" Kaoru concurred. (who concurred in math? I think it was u, kitty…)

Misao was dying, laughing so hard that she was on the floor, pounding her fists on the ground; Aoshi was standing, wondering why everyone had gone completely nuts; Kenshin was chuckling to himself in the corner; Kaoru was giggling with Kitty, Ducky, and Haru; Sano was laughing with Kitsune and Shorty; Soujiro was inching away from the scene and Kitty, a broad grin plastered on his face; Wolfie and Aku were standing close (too close in Ducky's opinion) to Aoshi, both laughing their heads off.

"Aoshi-Sama! Come on, that was hilarious!" Misao punched his arm in her delirium, trying to get him to laugh.

"I… It wasn't _that _funny." He observed everyone around him, broken into hysterics. Even the people who _weren't _part of their little group were dying.

"Yes it was!" Everyone in Tin Pan Alley contradicted him.

"O-Okay!" Ducky said breathlessly. "Wh-What now?"

"Oooohh! Ohhh! I know!" Kitsune screamed.

"What?"

"PLAYSTATION!"

"Oro?"

"What's a play station?" Kaoru asked dumbly.

"That's a great idea!" Ducky agreed. "Hmmm, or Gamecube. Resident Evil 4 is always fun."

"Yeah!" Shorty shouted her agreement. "Or Silent Hill 4!"

"To my house then!" Kitsune announced, bouncing off towards the bus stop.

------------------

"What game should we play first?"

"Silent Hill!"

"Resident Evil!"

"DDR!"

"Okay! Stop!" Ducky yelled, standing in front of everyone. "Why don't we vote?"

"How about you tell us exactly what these things are?" Sano asked.

"Yeah, we should tell them," Haru agreed, clinging to Sano.

"Okay!" Kitsune volunteered to explain. "They're video games! You have a controller and the game is on the TV screen and… and… and you play! Just try it! Ducky sucks at all the games, so it really doesn't matter what we play."

"Don't worry Ducky," Kitty crooned. "I'll still love you no matter what you're video game status is."

"Thanks, Bunny Bunch," Ducky whispered.

"What about me?" Soujiro asked.

"I love you too!" Kitty glomped him.

"So what do we play?" Shorty asked again. "Silent Hill and Resident Evil are both basically horror and DDR is a dance game."

"Okay, raise you're hands for Silent Hill," Kitsune said.

Sano, Shorty, Kitsune, and Haru all raised their hands. Four.

"Okay, Resident Evil."

Kitty, Ducky, Kaoru, Kenshin, and Soujiro. Five.

"DDR?"

Misao, Aoshi, Wolfie, Aku, and where did Hiko come from? Five again.

"It's a tie between Resident Evil and DDR. Another vote with only those two choices. Resident Evil?"

Kitty, Ducky, Kaoru, Kenshin, Soujiro, Shorty, and Kitsune. Seven.

"DDR?"

Haru, Wolfie, Aku, Misao, Aoshi, and Hiko. Six.

"Okay, Resident Evil and then DDR! Up to my room! Ducky, Shorty, lead the way and get the game in and I'll get us all some food," Kitsune suggested.

Kitsune rustled up some chocolate milk and cookies (oreos!) before heading upstairs where she found everyone huddled, trying to set the game up.

"Hey, back up! Shorty, do you have it yet?"

"Yeah, if you would all move!"

"Ohh! We have to put 'Ballroom Blitz' to the beginning movie!"

"Ballroom Blitz…?"

a/n: i no it's kinda short, but i wanted to get somthin' up for this ficcie... and look! no more kareoke! and a hilarious song! and aoshi! btw, ddr is 'dance dance revolution' really awesome game, but no lie, i suck at it and resident evil... and silent hill from what i've played... oh, and a long time ago someone asked me y me and misao weren't like in a death fight for aoshi... teaming up to conquer an opponet works better than working individually... so we're allies!


End file.
